tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76116265004225968472024-03-12T20:08:18.853-07:00Prose and ConsJ-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-14762221824110417692017-11-12T21:29:00.002-08:002017-11-12T21:32:20.471-08:00Do you see what I see?<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My little Lucas has this thing where often,
he won’t nurse unless he knows he has my undivided attention. With Katie, I
could get away with surfing Facebook or killing zombies. Nope, Lucas has a
sixth sense for when I pull out the iPad. Good thing he's so cute.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4DOo5j67Lcx0RczH1UKidhHI8PsGmujirwdZLlWSIJSg5UYc_mb5BCT4e0jhXWflRmJGcBrSyjGQcxxMV-07fxWjQEZZHqaSyd8GzZ7lnhoLgbSDxf8rRK-yFGxRw6Mr5hKU8cU_nsGrp/s1600/IMG_0441.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4DOo5j67Lcx0RczH1UKidhHI8PsGmujirwdZLlWSIJSg5UYc_mb5BCT4e0jhXWflRmJGcBrSyjGQcxxMV-07fxWjQEZZHqaSyd8GzZ7lnhoLgbSDxf8rRK-yFGxRw6Mr5hKU8cU_nsGrp/s320/IMG_0441.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">All this time just sitting leads to all
this time just thinking. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how we literally
don’t see things the same way as others. Even among my own siblings with the
same biological parents, I have siblings with glasses and without glasses. And
those are the quantifiable differences. Every now and then it blows my mind
that Sterling and I can be looking at the exact same thing at the exact same
time but be seeing it even just slightly different. Within my own life, the way
I’ve seen things has changed. My eyes changed drastically this last pregnancy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Oh and then there are our figurative eyes.
How do we see the world around us? I think about this every time I butt heads
with someone or am frustrated by something I don’t understand. Why can’t we
just see things the same way?? It’s wonderfully frustrating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Seeing things differently leads to change.
It leads to innovation. It leads to common ground. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Sadly, it can also lead to discord,
discouragement and oh, drama. Drama. Drama. Drama. It can destroy reputations,
resolutions and worst of all, relationships. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But if we could only see eye to eye, we
wouldn’t have any misunderstandings. We wouldn’t have any hurt feelings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The way we see things shapes our world.
Today, I ran over Katie for the umpteenth time. She has become my shadow of
late. It’s sweet but sometimes I forget to look down. I don’t realize she’s
underfoot until, well, she’s under foot. I need to remember to join her ‘down
there’ more often. There is a special connection when we get down to the level
of a child or a pet. Perhaps they realize just in that gesture that we’re at
least trying to see things the way they do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I don’t know that we grow out of that. When
someone tries to see things from our point of view, it’s comforting. At least
in my experience. They might not succeed, they might not be able to stay there
for long (bad knees…) but the effort can go a long way.</span></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Carrying the hurt and even hate of someone
seeing you, your intentions, your loved ones—whatever it may be—the wrong way,
it’s hard and can do much more harm than good. Conversely, wearing a lens of
doom, gloom, anger, ________________ (insert bad feeling here) is also really,
really wearing. So here’s my plan: take these tired eyes and let them see the
light. It’s all around us in everyone we meet. Maybe it’s really, really hard
to see sometimes in someone. Maybe we can’t always fight the dark but I’m ready
to try. At least until Lucas lets me get back to the zombies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-29404122847338758042017-02-03T07:36:00.001-08:002017-02-03T11:47:35.930-08:00It was just a dream<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I’ve been harboring something. Like an
unwanted parasite, I’ve tried to clamp down my borders, my boundaries, to keep
it out. Or in. Because sometimes I’m not sure I don’t need it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">At first glance, it feels like a grudge.
Looking deeper, maybe it’s more of a regret, an emptiness, a wasted life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Okay, maybe that last one’s a little
dramatic. Maybe it’s just a normal part of the grieving process when you have
to let something go. Something that was so instrumental, monumental and pivotal
in your life for so long. Gone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The thing I keep circling back to and
feeling a bit embarrassed about is that it wasn’t a person. Not one individual
at least. It was an experience. A job. One I loved and longed for before I even
knew it existed and sunk my whole world into for eight years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Eight years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">When I think of where Katie will be in
eight years, suddenly that feels like a very long time. And it was sometimes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Looking back, I can see my job became my
full-time reality. It was like my child. The focal point of every waking
thought, every conversation. You get to the point where you’re squeezing in your own wedding, regrettably missing a loved one's funeral or wedding, birthdays and holidays. But the job’s important.
It’s bigger than yourself. And it seemed that way, a lot of the time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Maybe that’s why I feel like it still owes
me something. Like I buried myself in that work, sacrificed so much for too
little return on investment. Certainly financial at least. Experiential was a
different story. Sometimes—most times, really. But as soon as I walked away, it
felt like it had never happened. Like it was a mirage. The sheen, the mystique
and the pride quickly washed away. You build what you think is a legacy just to
learn it was far from it. You were just a cog in the wheel until you weren’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">All of those feelings are probably
compounded by the fact that my former job is still in my face. Turn on the TV,
and there it is. So I got rid of my sports channels. Walk through the grocery
store and there are posters and people wearing jerseys. Scan through Twitter
and there are faces that used to be yours or used to be your family. But
they’ve moved on. They’re in the thick of it still. You’re just a blip in the
past. ‘What was that Mormon girl’s name that used to bring us those game
notes?’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s like seeing an ex who’s happily moved
on and you’re still single and sucking at the dating scene.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Nobody wants to be discarded or forgotten.
Maybe that’s the mirage. Maybe it wasn’t all for nothing and I’m the one that’s
discounting any impact I had. Maybe my worries that I’ve become a distant
memory—an outsider—maybe those are ill placed. The problem with perception and
reality is that a lot of times, they’re not the same. But sometimes they are.
And you cling onto that. At least I do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So what? I’m sitting on and island, a world
away with a lot to be grateful for. And I am. So what do I want? What do I expect? Some statue on the arena plaza saying I
was there? I mattered? No, it was just a job. That part is gone but the
relationships I cultivated aren’t. Or at least they shouldn’t be. Except it
feels like they are—just another part of the mirage. People I shared some of the
biggest moments of my life with and now I don’t even know where they’re at in
life. I couldn’t pick up a phone and call them if I wanted to. I went too far
off the grid and lost contact. Lost contacts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I’ve moved on—physically. Now I just need
to move on mentally. Not leave it all behind but stop losing sleep worrying
it’s left me behind. There are times and seasons for things and that one’s passed or at least paused for now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We build bridges in life. Sometimes we walk
away and tear them down. I’d rather leave it as it is in case I have a chance
to cross it again some day or maybe just to know it's there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As always, there are takeaways. What are
mine? Don’t let a job define you, let it develop you. Let it direct your paths but don't let it become your path. And remember
relationships are never one sided. If you’re feeling rejected or out of touch,
reach out. It’s a two-way street. And sometimes you just need to learn to let
things go. Let the memories shine, not shred you apart. Believe it or not,
you can live in the present without forsaking or forgetting the past. Just
don’t let it mire you in what ifs and could have beens. </span>Leave it
where it is—what was and what has been one heck of a ride.<br />
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J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-57563649774900326122016-11-04T08:13:00.005-07:002016-11-04T08:31:52.421-07:00No Means No...in some circles<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">When I took Katie to the public health nurse
for her six-month vaccinations, the nurse handed me a thick booklet. A how-to
on raising babies to toddlers to wildly successful humans or something like that. I started off reading carefully through each age
range to make sure I was helping Katie hit her milestones and was surprised at
one of the entries. It said to avoid saying ‘no’ except for situations that are
dangerous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I can think of many reasons why you
wouldn’t want to introduce that word to a toddler’s vocabulary but despite my
best efforts, she’s picked it up. She uses it quite readily actually.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Last night during dinner:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Would you like some water?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“No!” (shakes head furiously)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Would you like some more chicken?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“No!” (more head shaking)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Are you done?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“No!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Do you like daddy?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“No!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Now I know she’s misusing the word. This little girl is obsessed with her dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQJAGJ8TrWlpqz4hFWMXxov0vGs27lL6ibpqCLioChWg6VB44khFZ5AHNjQEdRVeIOuK-NTwv9CgrDY7OwWbOk3IPiGDMxS908-vQS-k8dKzeM66dnhPXgjcgJPICdb4mF2OHsYf8BMy1S/s1600/IMG_3578.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQJAGJ8TrWlpqz4hFWMXxov0vGs27lL6ibpqCLioChWg6VB44khFZ5AHNjQEdRVeIOuK-NTwv9CgrDY7OwWbOk3IPiGDMxS908-vQS-k8dKzeM66dnhPXgjcgJPICdb4mF2OHsYf8BMy1S/s640/IMG_3578.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Bless her little heart, I hope she doesn’t
ever stop saying no like she means it. When she means it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Maybe it’s a grown up thing, maybe it’s a
woman thing but I have a hard time saying no. So when I do say it, better
believe I mean it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But apparently everyone doesn’t realize
that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Over the weekend, I decided to finally
install a drainage pipe in our front yard to take care of the soggy bog that
results from our sloping driveway and yard (and the copious amounts of rain we
get here).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We had to run to grab some gravel for the
project and happened to be right by a Mazda dealership. Our car had been
acting…differently…of late so we decided to just pop in and see what pricing
we’d be looking at if we did need to jump into a car in the near future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">They were all very pleasant even though I
was covered in mud from my outdoor project. We got some pricing and returned
home, happily informed but in no rush to jump on a deal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Well, at some point during the process we
must have given them our phone number because come Monday morning, the
dealership was calling. Were we ready to jump on a great deal? Today would be
our last chance since it was the end of the month.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I called Sterling at work to talk it over.
Would we really bite the bullet and buy a car? A new car? On credit? I’d never
financed a car and wasn’t about to even at 0% after we’d just gone to one salary never
mind adding a mortgage and a little person to our family in the last year and a
half.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We hadn’t even test driven a car while at
the dealership so it felt way too rushed. After many calls back and forth and
considering ditching Katie’s first real Halloween to go test drive cars, I let
the salesman know we weren’t interested at this time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It was harder than I thought but there, I
did it. I said no thanks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But he called back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He said if I just gave him my credit card
number, he could put a refundable deposit on the deal and it could still be
honoured if we changed our mind in the next three days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Now we had skin in the game.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I didn’t sleep more than three hours that
night. Katie’s teething combined with my racing brain didn’t help. In the
middle of my restless night, I started messaging Mazda dealers across BC. Did
you know there’s someone online at 3 a.m.?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I was able to get several quotes and one
was so low, I thought if we were going to go with a car, that would be the one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Armed with that new, low offer, we went to
test drive the car we’d been eyeing to see if it was worth a trip to the
mainland to capitalize on that steal of a deal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We test drove, were satisfied enough and
went to say our goodbyes. Of course the salesman wanted to close the
transaction. After lots of back and forth for over an hour, I told him we had a
better offer elsewhere and unless they could match it, would be going with that
offer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He balked at the offer and said it wasn’t
legit. I said I’d rather hedge my bets and see if it’s legit than buy a car for
$2400 more on his impression that a better deal wasn’t possible. Thankfully I
had somewhere to be and was already super late so I made a quick exit but not
before we promised to check in with him the next day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So we did. We sat in that little office far
too long, well after the dealership had closed. Well after we should have been
there. I finally just threw my hands up and said I didn’t feel good about
buying the vehicle without at least checking in with the dealership on the
mainland. Sorry, but we’re not buying this car today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I looked at Sterling, hoping he’d echo my
sentiments but he just sat there. Was I being foolish? Was I being
unreasonable? Should I just suck it up and jump on this opportunity even if it
wasn’t the best deal?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">No, I’d thought about it. All night long.
Two nights in a row now. I’d done research, compared quotes, talked with
friends and neighbors, prayed about it even. It didn’t feel right.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">At one point I even referenced my hockey
pool to try to hammer home the point that I was walking away because I didn’t
want to get burned again. I’d had a guy offer me over 30 trade variations for a
player I told him over and over I didn’t want to move. One afternoon, after
what felt like the 30 millionth trade offer and after 13 days of sleepless
nights thanks to freaking molars coming in, I declined his offer but sent a
counter proposal. I thought he wouldn’t take it but I just wanted to shut him
up. And I also felt bad for rejecting him over and over again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He took my deal and I’ve been sour about it
ever since. It was a stupid, one sided trade that didn’t benefit me at all. And
I offered it to him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So, armed with that fresh memory, I said my
last firm no and walked out into the lobby.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But Sterling stayed and somehow we walked
out of the dealership with a deal in principle. We were buying the car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">They were technically closed so they had us
sign some forms, confirmed our financing and sent us home in a new car. Well,
Sterling took it home. I wanted nothing to do with it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The next day, we headed back to the
dealership to officially buy the car. There was a whole other process. When it
came time for the warranty up-sale, I was in and out of the room chasing Katie.
Sterling and I hadn’t discussed the added warranty but have an overall disdain
for warranties and insurance in general. When I learned it would be $2300 to extend
the warranty to year seven I balked and said a quick no. The salesman looked at
me like I had two heads. He tried three more times to sell the warranty, even
saying you’d be dumb not to get it. I said no each time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He finally threw his hands up and said
okay. I felt like garbage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I started thinking about all the times I’d
said no to deaf ears. The reporter who would not listen to me when I said he
couldn’t take a press box seat for games he wasn’t working. We had that
conversation for two seasons before his boss finally fired him. The salesmen.
The fantasy hockey poolie. The bank who wouldn’t close my account after
standing at the teller counter for over an hour trying to do so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I felt like crap then and now. Over a nice car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_dUrkLYg6faA6e3l6nsd6r0K3MrHq2DotGt7i5ZI9z_V48-Q5wMe1sVhErHaDBR9CmhOmZWSgd9HbaQYAew262m2QxvQlKhvdyHChpfaGZPgLS4vr5uPmCfIyGX7fL5D-DfM9jPsxcZ4o/s1600/IMG_3591.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="476" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_dUrkLYg6faA6e3l6nsd6r0K3MrHq2DotGt7i5ZI9z_V48-Q5wMe1sVhErHaDBR9CmhOmZWSgd9HbaQYAew262m2QxvQlKhvdyHChpfaGZPgLS4vr5uPmCfIyGX7fL5D-DfM9jPsxcZ4o/s640/IMG_3591.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<span lang="EN-US">Then I thought of other people who say no.
Even though it’s hard and can be uncomfortable because so many of us are
programmed to please others at all costs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I feel like garbage over a car deal.
Possibly losing money. How about rape victims? Geez, that must torment them to
no end. I’m writing this at 5 a.m. because I can’t sleep over a car. A car!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There are takeaways here though. The biggest one
for me is to make sure Katie never loses her unabashed ability to say no. Even
if it’s a misguided no, it’s hers and I respect that. I just wish others would too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-34635894821721072412016-05-15T23:02:00.000-07:002016-11-04T10:21:20.381-07:00Faulty Programming<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I was back in another dimly lit mother’s
lounge, where by some miracle three rocking recliners are crammed into a space
the size of my bathroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I often feel like I don’t belong in there.
You’re a mother? And an adult, female, aunt, daughter, wife and many other
things by definition but still feel like a fraud at one or all of them from
time to time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Often, I walk in to find other people in
these small rooms. Sometimes they’re just in there to escape from the crowded
isolation church can bring. Sometimes they, like me in that moment, are in
there to nurse or rock their baby to sleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Today I was greeted by familiar smells sadly
rather foreign in my church experience: coffee and cigarettes. She reminded me a
lot of my youngest sister as she sipped her latte. Nose pierced, a few visible
tattoos, a quiet confidence that seemed to masquerade an underlying uneasiness.
Maybe she felt the judging eyes around her. Maybe I read her totally wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Across from her sat another woman. As I
took my seat in the last recliner, I saw a baby about Katie’s size draped
across her arm. The baby’s ivory skin contrasted with a dark sleeve of tattoos. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I love storytelling and wanted to hear both
ladies’ life stories right there. Instead I settled for some nuggets of wisdom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The woman without a child in the room had kids too and taught me about empowering kids to make choices and giving them room to express feelings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I soon learned that the baby in the other woman's arms was Katie’s
age and that she was her ninth child. Nine pregnancies. Nine deliveries. Nine
terrible twos. Nine teenagers. Nine incredible human beings to love and learn
with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Now I really wanted to hear this woman’s
story. I soon discovered she was just two years older than me. And had birthed
and raised nine children. Mic drop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But thankfully she didn’t drop the mic
there. She shared some wisdom, borne of life experience. She liked having a
year between kids. It was her favourite gap. It was a huge struggle at first
but as they grew they became best friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I always ask parents of multiple kids
that question. My research has shown there’s no magic number. No magic gap.
Sounds like the rest of parenting in my experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Then she shared that each time she
lamented that her new baby was more useless at breastfeeding than the last one until she’d realize it’s just hard out the gate for most
babies and takes time, like all skills, to perfect.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And then she did what other parents have
done before when they meet Katie. She told me she wished her little girl was as
active, mobile and socially engaged as Katie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I laughed inside. I wished Katie was
sleeping soundly like her baby. I wished Katie would power down sometimes and be
content to just sit still. I wished she liked to cuddle or have her back
rubbed. But she doesn’t. And I’m learning it has nothing to do with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">At times I’ve felt a need to take
responsibility for Katie’s shortcomings or credit for her achievements. As I
sat in that mother’s lounge today, I realized it really doesn’t have a lot to
do with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I don’t get to wear a badge of honour
because Katie has four teeth and a kid her age has none while another has a dozen. Maybe I get a
participation ribbon for surviving weeks of tears and sleepless nights as the
teeth came through but if I had more say in the process, those teeth would have
been in much sooner and with much less fanfare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">She’s been waving at people for months now
but not because I repeatedly waved until she got it. She’s loved people and
social outings practically since birth. She certainly doesn’t get that from her
mom, the hermit. She gets parts of it from her dad, certainly we nurture some
of it but, spoiler alert: she was born this way. She came with her own
personality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Unlike her mom and dad, she absolutely
loves cats. She also came with a temper (okay, that she gets from her hermit
mom). My badge of honour will come when I lead by example and teach her to
control her temper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Before she was born, Sterling and I would
muse over what traits of ours she would inherit. We isolated our best traits
and hoped she’d get all of them and none of the bad. I can understand why studying genetics is a thing. Nobody wants to see their worst parts in their
offspring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yes, she has parts of both of us. Some bad,
many good unveiled almost on a daily basis. She is our child but she is not us.
Not a carbon copy. She’s her own person. She’s not going to be the same as
other babies her age. She didn’t walk at nine months like I did. That doesn’t
mean she’s a failure. It means I have more time to enjoy her crawling phase and
can help her progress to walking when she’s ready.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There’s a propensity to compare and
contrast, I find, as a parent and as a human really. With those comparisons
come a floodgate of guilt and disappointment more often than gratitude and
pride. But today, in that little mother’s lounge I think I got one step closer
to shutting those rushing waters out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-1852121128309254962016-05-09T23:18:00.000-07:002016-05-10T05:30:22.942-07:00My First Mother's Day<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday I celebrated my first Mother’s
Day as a legit “I birthed a baby” mom. Funny thing is, it didn’t really feel that
different. Yes, I went through pregnancy, labored hard and pushed a baby out of
a seemingly impossible situation and have watched my body and life shift like I
didn’t know they could. Yes, I get to have moments like this where my heart just melts and then moments where I just want to run away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekCca3l3cx95h4iiRCSkr7uao5hoDihUoaHI2TtfThwHixtoPWb8ukhawRwz6mS8u-ScgtiEH9tIG-_TUkMcuAIPYd8O1E8zD8CoOOShyphenhyphenj8y1Nf-SIM_fa7kHeb4shCWwrD5fHLEBKkwI/s1600/IMG_3070.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekCca3l3cx95h4iiRCSkr7uao5hoDihUoaHI2TtfThwHixtoPWb8ukhawRwz6mS8u-ScgtiEH9tIG-_TUkMcuAIPYd8O1E8zD8CoOOShyphenhyphenj8y1Nf-SIM_fa7kHeb4shCWwrD5fHLEBKkwI/s320/IMG_3070.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<span lang="EN-US">All that didn’t change the way the day felt
to me though. I’ve always seen it as a day to recognize the amazing women I’ve been
blessed to know. The single teachers who never birthed kids yet mothered
hundreds of us. Aunts who treated me like I was one of their own and showered
me with love and life lessons. Sisters through blood and friendship who helped
me grow and love and test my boundaries. And of course my amazing mom who
showed me what unconditional love really is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I didn't feel that the day should be about shining a spotlight on me and any perceived accomplishments. Rather, it was an opportunity for me to reflect on the incredible influences of many, many
nurturing and inspiring women in my life. And to celebrate them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So very many women deserve to be revered
and celebrated. Not just one day but if we need to mark it on a calendar to
make it so, I’m all for it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My heart aches for those who feel anguish,
turmoil, remorse, angst or any negative feeling on that day for a myriad of
reasons. I wish it wasn’t so. But I know it is. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The human experience is rapt with hard
days. I wish something so inherently good wasn’t another one but it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I’m learning that more and more each day.
Being a mom is pretty cool but is far and away the hardest thing I’ve ever
done. I fail at something as a mom almost every day. Like, real bad some days. I have this sweet,
loving, mostly content baby in my care and I know I’m not good enough to her
all the time. Mom guilt is a real thing and it started the moment I felt I was
pregnant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I know I’m not supposed to be the perfect
parent but there’s that voice (sounds a lot like Dr. Phil) saying ‘you
shouldn’t be that bad at it’. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mercifully, I get to try again tomorrow.
And the next day. And hopefully one day I’ll internalize how I feel about the
other mothers in my life. They are amazing. They’re trying. They may be
treading water, they may swimming gracefully but they’re there: in the water. On
the front line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">They’ve somehow managed on an insane lack
of sleep, they’ve wiped orifices where the sun don’t shine more times than they
can count, they’ve read the same story a hundred times, dried tears, prepped
lunches, agonized over poor choices, cried to the heavens for help, wet their
pillow with their own tears and burst with joy over a child’s success. Oh
mothers, you are the world to me. To them. Not just one day in May but always. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-89029311447026562962016-05-08T15:32:00.000-07:002016-05-08T15:32:28.319-07:00Green Grass & The War Against Pride<div class="MsoNormal">
When Sterling and I built our new home, we
picked the biggest, flattest lot in our neighborhood. I grew up with a big yard
and it was perfect for soccer, football, field hockey and even the odd
neighborhood baseball game (miraculously, no windows were broken!). One of my biggest priorities was having a
yard that would enable my kid(s) to replicate those same experiences. We even
negotiated with our builder to include a backyard lawn in our sale.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Having a lawn is a lot of work. I should
clarify: having a nice lawn that can handle little feet stomping back and forth, kicking a ball around is hard work. I have a moral dilemma any time I turn a
sprinkler on. Water is such a precious resource and I’m using it for a green, invasive
weed!?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But the memories that can be made! Plus we
are looking at ways to implement water conservation practices.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I digress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Those who know me well, know this backyard
lawn has been the bane of my existence. We waited until the dry summer came to
an end before seeding our first attempt at the lawn. It failed miserably
despite much wasted water.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The second overseeding also failed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Before I threw more water and time at the
failed backyard, I consulted with the neighborhood grass specialist and he wisely
recommended pouring lots of sand over the existing ‘lawn’ to start anew.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So we did. We buried that terrible excuse
for a ‘lawn’ with two dump trucks full of beautiful sand. After working
furiously to spread it all in the span of eight hours (so we could capitalize
on the forecasted rain the next day), we joked that if our lawn didn’t work
out, at least we’d have a nice beach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s been two weeks and I’m pleased to say
our lawn is starting to materialize.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As I’ve been toiling over this yard with
Katie sleeping soundly on my back, I’ve had a lot of time to just think and
lately those thoughts have been about pride and perspective.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Our yard is tiered. When I’m on the upper
tier, looking down at the grass, I can’t help but notice all the bare patches,
cat footprints, thinning spots, water pools...see exhibit A.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaTOrM6MvH-gkHtwL_lcvFrPTv23OZIr-RVz6WUEGuxo6p4dzm2Uk94RaY1_pP2S1TL1MXGS5Oek2EKZAjWVX8eOIH5pHPMi7jEaomkkH7fHvOR1NqrywoPW2aXfTzUenQccGbp_ZnceS-/s1600/IMG_3118.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaTOrM6MvH-gkHtwL_lcvFrPTv23OZIr-RVz6WUEGuxo6p4dzm2Uk94RaY1_pP2S1TL1MXGS5Oek2EKZAjWVX8eOIH5pHPMi7jEaomkkH7fHvOR1NqrywoPW2aXfTzUenQccGbp_ZnceS-/s320/IMG_3118.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Any and every blemish
or slight imperfection is so noticeable.<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Then when I go down to the bottom of our
yard and look up at the grass, all I see is lush, green grass. Our yard looks
amazing! Good job little seedlings! I can only see how awesome it is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ccjd17eWE_WSyp4ReUM9s8nO0PUFj0FqMR_MDfTomYGNJEPFqwFEZoM_KCWbY2vZPo3OEZw-AeRd2B1Rpha3c2LmRRSNo-VHbyp9aN2Wi92W3SPvE7NYaPr7PA-0s5QdpdWZVWR5FCl_/s1600/IMG_3125.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5ccjd17eWE_WSyp4ReUM9s8nO0PUFj0FqMR_MDfTomYGNJEPFqwFEZoM_KCWbY2vZPo3OEZw-AeRd2B1Rpha3c2LmRRSNo-VHbyp9aN2Wi92W3SPvE7NYaPr7PA-0s5QdpdWZVWR5FCl_/s320/IMG_3125.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The same grass looks so different just from
those two perspectives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It got me thinking about life. About
looking at others. When we’re rocking at life, it can be easy to look at others
who are struggling and think ‘well, look at those imperfections, of course
life’s hard for them’. Or conversely, when things are a struggle, we can look
at others and only see how awesome they’re doing. They’re doing so awesome up
there, it’ll be impossible to match their awesomeness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Either way, we’re wrong. When I look at
those little grass seedlings up close, I see what they’re really made of. I
think they’re perfect. As little as they may be. As far as they may be from the
next little seedling. They’re perfect. They’re trying. Reaching for a ray of
sun while sending their little roots through the sand to the firm foundation
below (thanks clay).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg79vNWysFYLdxmXqax7WckIaRbZ8tUlsn61fnSOGzm6C-Nj1xU_r07ExPAvVO3d6VvwDkhRcP3ff0nxT7slfhdUMIw9dyAsoPHwMzbhg4659SGT6C-AF4ugyb3Rsq8NcFjBdJZLXceHTFn/s1600/IMG_3123.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg79vNWysFYLdxmXqax7WckIaRbZ8tUlsn61fnSOGzm6C-Nj1xU_r07ExPAvVO3d6VvwDkhRcP3ff0nxT7slfhdUMIw9dyAsoPHwMzbhg4659SGT6C-AF4ugyb3Rsq8NcFjBdJZLXceHTFn/s320/IMG_3123.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Wherever we may be in life—up on the hill
looking down, down below looking up, or somewhere in between, I hope we don’t get
too caught up in the whole, skewed picture. Look a little closer. Its potential
is perfect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-31640169345096285352015-03-27T18:40:00.002-07:002015-03-27T23:38:48.938-07:00Whose fault is it anyways?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week, in the city I currently call home, at least two
lives were forever changed and an entire community took notice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At around 6 a.m., a woman my age was running some trails
when she was attacked from behind and sexually assaulted. Just six hours later,
across town, a young woman was IN HER HOUSE when an apparent stranger barged
into her home, bearing weapons and bad intentions, tied her up and viciously
assaulted her physically, sexually, emotionally...and who knows how else.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the second case, she screamed and fought and drew the
attention and ire of a neighbor. A man named Bronson came to her rescue and
fought off the attacker. Yes, damage had been done but neighbors held the creep
until police were able to come arrest him. He had prior convictions in Ontario, even recently breaching probation and in his short time in Vancouver, had already
caught the attention of the police.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many things happen after cases like these. The good:
communities band together, vying for change and solidarity. The bad: lives and hearts
are forever tainted, physical and emotional wounds cut deep and leave scars.
And the ugly: the blame game begins, fear festers and paranoia prevails.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the first case, the 30-year-old woman fought off her
attacker to no avail. She was helpless to his atrocious advances and disgusting
deeds. He fled and so far, walks a free man, save for whatever evil nature binds
him to his unthinkable appetites.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the second case, the woman was assaulted but a good Samaritan came to her rescue and kept her from what could
have been much worse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Twitter allowed me to learn about these cases almost in real
time. As someone’s life was irrevocably changed, I got a 140 character (or less)
play-by-play.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About the early morning attack, one friend asked what that
woman was doing running alone that early in the dark.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Comments like that commonly follow reports like this. Victim
shaming? Victim blaming maybe? She shouldn’t have been wearing that. What was
she thinking going to that place. Of course she shouldn’t have gone home with
that guy. Many of us think or vocalize thoughts like these. Perhaps innocently,
or in some cases, vindictively.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was enraged a few weeks ago to read the transcripts of (I
can’t even call them men) dimwits assessing why a vicious gang rape and
subsequent murder happened on a bus in Delhi. One assertion was that she and
her date shouldn’t have been out to a movie that late. Women should be in their
homes at that time. They said many worse things but I don't want to further highlight that idiotic thinking in this space.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The frustrating part is that those thoughts must permeate some way
across cultures, across borders and even genders. I’ve heard men and women
share variations of those views.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And we wonder why victims of these calamities carry a burden
of guilt and self loathing along with their scars. So where does it stem from?
We just need a reason to explain why such evil, unthinkable acts could happen? We
can’t put our mind where the assailant’s mind was so we rationalize for and
against the victim? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Well if I was that person, I wouldn’t have been alone on
that trail at that time.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then how do you explain the second case? Now there are
headlines asking if women should be carrying weapons at all times. She was
alone in her home, minding her own business when a complete stranger barged in
and inflicted irreparable damage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hope both those women heal. I hope those who inflicted the
damage heal too but am not naïve to think it won’t take significant help for
both.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The second man was known to police. I don’t know what his
prior convictions were about. I would imagine he didn’t commit such a heinous
crime out of the blue. I’m no expert but I would think there’s a starting point
before things escalate there. Maybe not.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s no question, there need to be stricter laws and, in
turn, punishments for such acts. I’ve seen firsthand the frustration and
anguish good cops feel when they’re the ones handcuffed by policies and legal limitations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re about to welcome a baby girl into the world. In its
current state, it terrifies me sometimes. But I’ve always been inclined to take
action and, against my better judgment sometimes, seek justice.
I’m continually reminded that there’s a higher judge that gets the final say but do I ever
wish there was more our laws could do now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If that were my daughter, sister, mother, friend, neighbor,
I would want those men found, castrated and isolated forever more so they could
no longer inflict any pain in another woman. The thing is that those women are
our daughters, sisters, mothers, friends and neighbors. They’re not strangers
to everyone. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve blogged before about how this world needs more love. It
does. Without question. That goes for the good guys and yes, even the bad guys.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I also think there needs to be stiffer penalties. Maybe
I’m delusional but I have to think if there are harsher penalties that actually
stick, someone down the line will be less inclined to take what isn’t theirs.
Not just a momentary theft but a lasting and painful robbery of innocence.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or maybe we just need to get rid of the whole pornographic
industry. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or maybe we need more fathers and mothers to stay together
and spend time raising their children instead of just their median income and
portfolios.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or maybe we just need to bring unicorns back to life and
paint the skies with rainbows.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t proclaim to know the answers so open the floor to
any listening ear. Where do we go from here? How do I help now to make sure my
little girl doesn’t have to worry about leaving the house without a weapon? How
do I make sure the boy or boys we might raise know that damaging behavior like that is
never ok? Do I write letters to policy makers? Start a community group to help ensure nobody walks alone? Where do we go from here? Somebody please give this pregnant lady some hope.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-64587562887737354752014-08-03T18:33:00.000-07:002014-08-03T20:45:08.307-07:0030 for 30The roaring 20s have come and gone. Now that I'm an adult, I figured I'd sit down and reflect on what I've learned in my last three decades on earth:<br />
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Love your life before you find the love of your
life. It wasn’t until I felt satisfied that my life was complete that I found
someone else to really complete it with.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Friends come in all shapes, sizes, types, ages…I
used to think I could tell right off the bat that someone was the type of
person I’d be friends with. It was judgmental, sometimes right but not without
a lot of room for error. Common interests are a big part of friendship but
sometimes differences with just enough similarities result in the best
friendships. And age really is just a number—especially the older you get. I
still forget sometimes that my closest friends were born before my parents even
met, or are the same age or even younger than my ‘little’ sisters.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Your body is more and less imperfect than you
think. No, you’re not a fat blob. Yes, you should take better care of your body
because one day all of that crashing and banging on the field, court, ice, etc.
may lead to a jacked shoulder, stitches on your face and hip surgery. Thanks,
life, for that lesson.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Moments matter. Sometimes it just takes one
moment for huge change to come crashing in. Value the moments with people you
care about. Don’t waste moments on things, places, people you don’t care about.
Sounds harsh but it’s something I learned and am still working on living.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Gossip is useless, stupid and at times (most
times), hurtful. I still do it. I die inside a little bit every time. Maybe
I’ll improve on this by my 40<sup>th</sup>. I sure hope so. One day, I hope to be liberal with kind words and stingy with the filth. I could and should
take a page out of my husband’s book on this one. He’s the best non-gossiper I
know.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Losing someone stings. Whether by death, dispute
or distance, when someone leaves your life, it leaves a hole. Other people and
time help fill the hole but it still sucks. Cherish people while they’re in
your bubble. If you can, find ways to still connect with them when they’re gone.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Music cures all. Breakups, new love, running,
working, fuming, chilling—there’s a soundtrack for that. I constantly have a
song in my head and have found I can turn to music to get through anything.
Thank you music makers. You rock my world.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>You can do anything for 30 seconds. Even if it
takes lots of 30 seconds. I think I started doing this when my roommate Jenette
and I would go on these crazy 20-mile runs in the dead heat of an Idaho summer.
When I felt like I was maxed out, I’d just start counting to 30—over and
over—while singing the soundtrack of Now and Then in my head. I just used this
technique at the dentist the other day. Works like a charm.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>Family is awesome. I realized this in my teens
after getting dropped off at university. They’re crazy sometimes, sure, and as
imperfect as I am but they’re mine. I’m theirs. Parents, siblings,
step-families, COUSINS!, grandparents, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and now
in-laws. Love them all. Couldn’t imagine a life without them and thankfully,
don’t have to.</div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
you cheat at Clue, you will get caught and it will lead to the biggest fight
you’ve ever had with your cousin. Same thing goes in life. I really believe
that honesty is the best policy. Cheaters never prosper—not in the end at
least. Sometimes it’s hard to be honest and tempting to test the truth. Your
conscience, relationships and well being will all be better off if honesty is the *only
way to go. *There is a Santa clause</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Sports are awesome. A very wise woman once told me I
shouldn’t waste my time with sports and would be better off without them. Well,
sorry Grammie but I disagreed then and still do. Sports have given me memories,
challenges, best friends, injuries, triumphs, defeats and ultimately, even my
husband. I know there’s more to life than ‘playing a silly game’ but where else
can you stretch yourself, help others, develop talents, entertain, be
entertained AND work up a sweat? Thankfully, Grammie’s come around over the
years.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Be
you. The version of your best self may get updates along the way and may
regress at times. Sometimes, some years, you may be a better version of you
than other years but be you. Try to improve on yourself but don’t try to cover
up the warts and human frailties. Learn from them, love yourself in spite of
them and stay true to who you are. I am awkwardly and bluntly honest, I am
extremely competitive but more than winning, value fairness. I have faith and
therefore, am faithful. I’m extremely loyal and care deeply about being the
best at everything, especially the best wife, friend, daughter, teammate,
sister, professional, etc. I also have a temper, struggle to commit to things
for the fear that something more desirable will come up and I don’t like wasting time
(even though I have developed a TV habit).</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">13)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Don’t make comparisons. I’ve wasted too much energy over the
years thinking, man, I wish I looked like/acted like/sounded like someone else.
Life would be so much better/easier/more fulfilling if only I was more like
that person. Believe it or not, once upon a time, someone may have thought the
same things about you. See #12. Be you. Realize that everyone has something
they wished they could gain or get rid of. And if they don’t, well good on ‘em.
Lastly, that picture you’re comparing yourself to is probably photoshopped.
Whether literally altered electronically or skewed by your own perception.
Everyone has flaws and struggles. Some are just more apparent than others.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">14)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Every
day is a new day but life is (hopefully) the collection of many of those days.
Some days we’re rock stars, some days we’re couch potatoes and some days just
suck. Try to be better today than you were yesterday but don’t beat yourself up
if you’re not. We only get to where we’re going, one day at a time.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">15)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Sunday naps are the best. So are lake days, big,
juicy raspberries and tall, cold glasses of lemonade. I’m so grateful for all
of them and much more. The simple things can just be so extraordinary.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">16)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>How to love. And how to have my heart broken.
Maybe you can go through life and have one but not the other. From my
experience though, you dive in and love and sometimes you get hurt. But man,
it’s worth it. When it’s good, it’s good. When it crumbles, it hurts. But it
helps you learn a lot about yourself, your coping skills and how much people
around you love you and will rally to help you rise above the ashes.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">17)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Consider the lilies. Sometimes I over think
things. I can especially fret about a lot of things, including money. This is
another work in progress but I’m learning to just trust that things will work
out. Consider the lilies, how they grow. I’m sure they’re working their little
hearts out to get bigger but they can’t control when and where the sun and rain
comes from. But it comes. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">18)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>We get by with a little help from our friends. I
said family is awesome and I have to include friends in the same breath. I love
my friends. I count many of them as my family and feel so blessed to have them
in my life. I just need to find more and better ways to show that.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">19)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>The grass can be green on both sides but if
we’re just looking at the other side, that’s all we’ll see. Sometimes we just
need to look around and see how awesome we’ve got it. It’s good to look ahead and
set goals but when we look too far ahead, we might miss just how awesome things
are on our side of the fence.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">20)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>It’s never too late to try something new. As a
kid, I wanted to play ice hockey so badly. I thought I’d missed my window of
opportunity and then I met some Curvy Canucks in my late 20s. I didn’t know how
to skate and more importantly, how to stop on skates but now I do. I love
playing hockey and am so glad I just tried it.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">21)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Road rage is bad but I get my rage on all the time. I
carpool with this amazing woman I work with. She is a very safe driver and it
genuinely hurts her feelings when people honk at her or tailgate. I am working
on it and really don’t want to hurt any sweet man or woman’s feelings because
I’m a jerk.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">22)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Manners matter. Please and thank you. Simple
words that can open so many doors. The more you use them, the better you’ll
feel so use please and thank yous at every meal. Really, every chance you get.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">23)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Saying thank you goes a long way. See the above.
It feels good to say thanks and feels great to receive gratitude. Again, just
two words can make a world of difference, especially in your marriage. There
are two other words that also go a long way. Not as easy to say but starts with
I and ends with ‘m sorry.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">24)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Sometimes (most times) the countryside trumps a
crowd. I’ve gone to a lot of concerts. I’ve gone to Vegas multiple times. I
think I’ve been to almost 300 professional hockey games in my life. There is a
palpable buzz in all of those places but far and away, I’d rather be sitting
next to a lake. Give me a guitar, a campfire, a paddle over bright lights and
raucous energy any day. Nature is my sanctuary and I’ve been fortunate to live
in some beautiful places.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">25)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>When you think you’re absolutely at your wit’s
end, take one more step. Prayer has helped me a lot here. When I’ve felt like
I’m at rock bottom and can’t find my way out, just keep on truckin’.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">26)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>If
you can dream it, you can do it. If you’re willing to work for it, that is. I
really believe that nothing is impossible. Not always easy but definitely
possible.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">27)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to be kind. There are
times when I just want to fix stuff. I try to troubleshoot and offer advice but
really all that person or situation needs is a little kindness. I love the
saying “Don’t let a problem to be fixed become more important than a person to
be loved.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">28)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Life
is full of surprises so don’t get caught off guard when it throws a curve ball.
Lean on your loved ones, trust in yourself and count to 30. As many times as
it takes. And above all else, don’t forget to pray. I’m hopping up on my soapbox
for these last few. There is tremendous power in prayer. I’ve lived it. I’ve
seen it. I’ve been so blessed by it. I would not be where I am without sincere
prayer in my life.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">29)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Marry
your best friend and life will be amazing. I wish it was that simple but it
sure helps. I’ve seen a lot of marriages fall apart, including my own parents’.
Maybe because of that, I have spent a lot of time dissecting what makes a
relationship work and what makes one fall apart. In my whopping 4.5 years of
marriage and 30 years of life, I’ve learned that it’s important to share—interests,
time, love, service, hopes, fears, dreams—everything with your partner. It’s
also important to say sorry quickly, mean it and accept your partner’s apology,
quickly. Once it’s a bygone, by golly, let it be gone.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">30)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>You are loved. By friends, family, your husband,
people you serve with, and most certainly, your Heavenly parents. I can look
back at my life and see many times where I’ve felt so loved. I can also think
of many times I’ve thought I was alone, only to see amazing miracles happen
that show me I’m anything but alone.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-20032993692411917412014-05-29T17:17:00.000-07:002014-05-29T17:46:08.983-07:00It's a man's world<style>
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I want to preface this by saying how grateful I am for an
amazing and supportive husband. I love him for the man that he is and is
aspiring to be.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt this even more last night as he stood there with me
in the rain for over an hour as I talked with two girlfriends after our hockey
game. And then my appreciation for him grew even more as I started reading
tweets that were part of an ongoing, organic and viral #YesAllWomen social
media campaign. </div>
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<br /></div>
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At first I sympathized with many of these women then I realized,
I could empathize.</div>
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<br /></div>
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For as long as I can remember, inequality has bothered me. I
was fortunate to be pretty good at sports growing up and a lot of the time,
played right along with the boys. I was even better than many of them. I never
felt that I was incapable of doing something because I was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just a girl.</i> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As much as I blurred the lines in my mind between what girls
could do and what boys could do, I received constant reminders from those
around me that there really was a line between us. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bless her heart, I recently found an old letter and accompanying
pamphlet from my grandma. She was encouraging me to go to a course to learn to
be a lady basically. Learn how to do your hair fancy and put makeup on and sit
properly. I can’t believe there are still things like that. It wasn’t for me at
the time and never will be. There’s a lot to value in womanhood but wasting
countless hours on primping, to me, that’s not one of them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was a more innocuous example of how expectations for
women are different than for men. I suppose a comparison for men would be a
course to learn to open doors and go bulk up at the gym.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As harmless as that example was, there have been many more
reminders that have been less than harmless. Even for a girl that never took to
primping and preening and spent the majority of her life considering herself to
be ‘one of the boys’.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized I had my own stories fitting for the #YesAllWomen
campaign. Like when my neighborhood friend locked me in a room when we were
kindergarten aged and told me I couldn’t leave until I touched his penis.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or more recently, when I was accosted as I walked down the
stairs, among a group of people, leaving a Skytrain station. A young man
grabbed me, began kissing my neck and telling me we should hook up. The people
exiting the train with me, and his ‘friend’, watched on and eventually almost
everyone walked away. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I like to think I’m a tough cookie but instead of fighting
back, I resorted to saying I needed to get home to my husband. As though the
idea that he would be offending another man, not me, that would be a sufficient
defence. It didn’t work.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The guy kept kissing my neck and telling me if my husband
really loved me, he’d be there with me right then.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had played out scenarios like this in my mind, sadly. What
would I do if someone tried to rape me? I always thought I’d fight tooth and
nail. Instead, I placated his ego and tried to get away as nicely as possible.
I was less than 50 feet away from safety. If only I could get to my office
where there was security and nobody could enter without a swipe badge.
Including this creep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then my knight in shining armor stepped in. The friend who’d
been idly watching on stepped in and told the guy to let me go. And he did. He
immediately listened to his male counterpart but he still stood between me and
the exit. The creep started ranting about how he’d moved here from the Middle East
and was frustrated with how Canadian women were so prudish and wouldn’t give
him the time of day. Like he was entitled to have every lustful whim fulfilled.
Like women were only good for satisfying his needs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the middle of his rant, I ran. Fear washed over me. I
hate being afraid. I hate feeling weak. I felt both. And in the midst of my
fear and anger, I let him win. I didn’t go get security. I didn’t tell anyone
until I got home to my husband. Who knows how far he went that night, or the
next. Who knows whose life that creep ruined. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll always regret not reporting him to someone. There’s a
lot I regret from that night. And I hate it. I hate that this pitiful excuse
for a man did that. I hate that men like him have created an aura of fear that
us women have to sift through. Is it safe to walk on that side of the street?
Should I get off the train now or wait until after that seedy looking character
gets off? Should I acknowledge the catcalls because I read that if you look a
man in the face, he’s less likely to rape you because you’ll be able to
identify him?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hate and fear. Anger and animosity. That’s what’s bred from
creeps like that man at the Skytrain station. Or that loser in California. And
sadly, it still feels like there’s not a lot we, as women, can do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can stop wearing makeup, wear baggy clothes, play sports,
do a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">man’s </i>job but at the end of the
day, I’ll still be a woman. And that’s awesome. And sometimes, terrifying, at
the same time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gentlemen, what I need, what your wife needs, what your
mother needs, your sisters, aunts and female friends—what we all need from the
men in and out of our lives—is your strength. The strength to stand up and tell
your guy friends to shut up when they start degrading and demeaning women.
Whether she’s on a pole or bus, she is a human and not an object. She has tits
but she has feelings too. One day she might be your everything, that is if
another man hasn’t made her feel like nothing first.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-24601557115157528252013-11-17T23:23:00.001-08:002013-11-17T23:31:01.078-08:00Just a Minute<style>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was just a minute. Less, really. And everything changed.<br />
<br />
I’ve used that phrase a
lot and it’s always seemed so inconsequential.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll be there…in just a minute. Hold on…just a minute.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I actually started this blog post a month ago. I was up late
(surprise, surprise), mulling over a minute that had resulted in an injury and dreading the next morning. I was just hours away from heading to the hospital for hip surgery.<br />
<br />
I hate needles. They terrify me. I knew this
surgery would mean a poke or two and was not looking forward to it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told myself, it’ll just be a minute. Go to your happy
place (a field with puppies, an ice rink or a beach usually) and let the minute
pass. I surprised myself by handling the IV really well, patted myself on the
back and headed into the O.R. and onto dreamland.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Those first days post-op were really hazy but by the
weekend, I’d started feeling this throbbing pain in my calf—despite heavy
painkillers. For the next week, I told myself it was probably just from the
surgery. The surgeon had even said to expect some ankle pain because of the way
my foot was held during the operation. And the physiotherapist didn’t seem
worried at all about it, so it must have been nothing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I wasn’t sleeping at night because of the pain and then
the chest pains and shortness of breath kicked in. Turns out I was sitting on a
bit of a ticking time bomb that could make everything change in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just a minute</i>. I had won the lottery and
developed Deep Vein Thrombosis in my thigh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A term, quite frankly, I wish I’d never heard.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But those minutes piled up and I realized some very
important lessons. Firstly—the human body can put up with a lot. It’s
incredible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A masterpiece, thanks
to our Creator.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Secondly, we get by with a little help from our friends (and
family of course). People gave me a lot of their minutes and I’ll never forget
it. Or I’ll try not to at least (I was on some pretty heavy drugs for those
first couple of weeks).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That second lesson has taught me to be more careful with
those minutes. There were some days and nights I wondered how serious those
chest pains were and was there really a chance that my minutes could be up?
Surely no. I still had so much to do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m so thankful I still have more minutes. More minutes to
catch up with an old friend. More minutes to tell my awesome mom about my day
and that I love her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More minutes
to talk about hopes and dreams and plans with my best friend and husband,
Sterling. More minutes to see those hopes and dreams become reality.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More minutes to realize the best investment of time isn’t
necessarily in doing awesome at your job or watching that blockbuster movie;
it’s spending time with the people that mean the most to you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not to say doing awesome at your job or catching a movie is
a bad way to spend your time. I’ll still try to do both. I’ve just realized I
need to be more careful about what I push aside in order to try to do those
things.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Too many times I’ve been too busy for this or too lazy for
that. Just give me a minute…and I’ll listen to you tell me how your day was.
Just wait a minute…and I’ll call you back. Just one more minute…and I’ll be
done at the office and meet you for lunch.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But those <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just a minutes</i>
pile up. Then they’re gone. I don’t want to be morbid but this last month has
helped me appreciate the value of a minute and I hope the shine doesn’t wear
off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m so grateful to have so many awesome people in my life I
get to share these precious minutes with. My heart is overflowing with
gratitude. And life. And minutes. Lots of them, I hope.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-69450797021115128162013-09-29T19:30:00.000-07:002013-09-29T21:53:21.504-07:00Onward, ever onward<style>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve got a problem. I’ve been seeing the Doctor way too much
lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dr. Mario that is. Some
grown adults come home from a long day of work and unwind with a nice glass of
wine or maybe an hour in front of the boob tube. My decompression comes with a few
rounds of Dr. Mario coupled with some good music (okay it’s Taylor Swift or
Dixie Chicks…define good).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At almost thirty years of age, it feels absurd to even admit
this but I don’t have kids, don’t drink wine and can’t play sports right now.
So Dr. Mario it is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s my escape. And I thought it was completely
mind-numbing until Friday, as I waited for my husband to get home, the game got
me thinking. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every time I play, I start at the highest level (20) at the
highest speed (super fast) and try to get to level 30 without having to
restart. That’s my goal. Every time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It used to be impossible and would suck hours of my life (I
know, I need kids) but now I pretty much do it every time then turn the game
off and I’m done.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a lot going on in that game. Simplified—you’ve got a
lot of coloured pills that need to disappear.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I think I’ve finally figured it out. There’s a little
screen at the top corner that helps out by showing you the next pills that will
drop. I look just far enough ahead to start planning where I’ll next lay the
little pills.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It can get tricky because when the pills are piled right up
to the top of the screen, one wrong move ends your game.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So there I was Friday, cruising away at Level 24 when I got
too aggressive on one of my corners. The far right side was stacked right up to
the top. And the added challenge is the speed increases as the game goes on. If
you don’t get to those pesky top corners in the first few moves, you’re going
to have to take the long bottom-up approach later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought three steps ahead. And while I was thinking so far
ahead, I screwed up and the game was over.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In real life, I’ve been thinking ahead. Where will I be in
five, 10 years? Will we have a house? A kid? Kids?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was little (and still now really), I just really,
really wanted a glimpse of my future. I wished I could just see a two-second
clip of my future life. Would I have a husband and family? Would I live solo
with my dogs?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So many burning questions about all these life plans I was
just too impatient to wait for answers for. But the wait’s been worth it. So
far. No dogs yet but I am thankful every day for the many blessings I have.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Funny thing is, they didn’t come from looking too far ahead.
Just far enough ahead. Along the way, I’ve set goals. I’ve met some and watched
some fade away. Impatiently I’ve waited for some to be realized and some I’ve
agonized over not realizing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are great stories of success out there and I bet they
have wicked advice but what that simple video game got me thinking about was
the importance of taking things one step at a time with just enough foresight
to not have to watch it all implode.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Looking big picture is important but if we’re just focusing
on the massive spread, we might not see the peaks and valleys between us and
that mountaintop we’re striving for.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As 2013 starts to come to a close (I know, it’s only almost
October but time flies!), a new set of goals will come out. And I’ll look back
at last year’s goals. No, we didn’t win that championship with the Curvies but
man did we have a blast trying. And I still haven’t published a song but I did play and write.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some goals will have to go back on the list for 2014 and
some I’ll just have to let go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There might be some new goals this time around. Rather than dwell on the
unfulfilled dreams and expectations, I choose to look forward.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A wise man once said Everest is climbed one step at a time
with your eyes ever forward. Okay, I don’t know if a wise man ever said that
and if I were climbing that mountain, I’d probably have my head down the entire
time out of sheer exhaustion. But the principle’s true: we get to where we’re
going by moving forward with our eyes on the prize. It’s the best way I know
how at least.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-43802335911341885592013-07-04T00:00:00.002-07:002013-07-04T00:07:45.733-07:00A Time to Heal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I’d been looking ahead to today for a while now. Dreading it
almost. Today would have been my nephew Zachary’s 11<sup>th</sup> birthday. But
Amy and Kirk’s handsome son, Josh and Avalayne’s older brother, Grandma and
Grandpa’s little guy…he wasn’t here for it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last year, this day hurt. Memories of Zachary stung deep and
brought tears I couldn’t fight. It was the first birthday he was in Heaven
instead of right here with us. Even though I knew without a doubt he was in a
much better place with his Heavenly Father and Savior. That he’d found comfort
there that he never tasted here on earth. Selfishly, I missed him too much.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Funny how time works though. This year, the sting’s not as
strong. Not because the memories are fading but because they’ve become fonder.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Zachy was just a little guy, I had the privilege of
getting to spend a Fall with him. I hold onto those memories tightly; both for
the time I got to spend with him and with my sister’s growing family. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Zach used to just light up when I’d put his dad’s gel in
his hair. It was like he knew that meant he was going somewhere. On an adventure of
some sort, even if it was just to the grocery store.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Calgary wasn’t a tundra and there was no ice on the
sidewalks, I would strap on my rollerblades and push Zach in his wheelchair to
the store. He’d be laughing hysterically the entire way.<br />
<br />
Zach couldn't walk but that didn't mean he couldn't dance. When he was small enough, I'd grab him under his armpits, tell him to 'put on his dancing shoes' and DANCE! He'd kick his feet furiously and let out that boisterous belly laugh as he 'danced' across the floor. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cherished those moments. And do still even more so now.
Thankfully, they far outshine the many tough and frustrating days he had in a
body that never did him any favours.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Except for that smile. And the twinkle in his eyes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I miss them. I miss him. But the ache’s fading. I pain less
for him and more for his family and loved ones still missing him. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Zachary James Schofield. Today, and every day, I thought of
you. A lot. Because I had the chance to know you, to love you and to learn so
much from you. And for that, I am so thankful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-46692446653352960342013-05-19T02:40:00.004-07:002013-05-19T07:18:06.872-07:00Name that Tune<style>
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We’re getting a new shower. Thanks to mushrooms and black
mold growing in our bathroom…I love basement living. So Al, a very Mario looking plumber, has been
working away in the bathroom over the long weekend. Poor Al. That’s no way to spend
a long weekend.</div>
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To try to jive up the working day and really, drown out the
drilling, hammering, etc. I’ve spent my days off playing my entire iTunes
playlist. </div>
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So many of those songs take me right back to a feeling, or a
fleeting moment. Sometimes even not so fleeting moments. I love how music can
do that. Catches an instant and holds it for you. The emotions coming right
back with each line, each lyric. Like magic.</div>
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After the past two days of music-induced memories, I started
thinking about the soundtrack of my life. And naturally, decided to write about
it. As you know, I tend to be long winded. So rather than make this a novel, I
figured I’d break down the significant songs from certain years. Maybe all 28
years? We’ll see where this goes.</div>
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1) Gold in them Hills by Ron Sexsmith ft Chris Martin. Best.
Song. Ever. I somehow found this song while I was away at university. I really
believe this message. The hills can seem tough at times and an impossible climb
but there’s gold in ‘em! There’s no telling how the day might end. My life
song, for sure.</div>
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2) Brazzle Dazzle Day—from Pete’s Dragon. One of my
favourite movies as a kid. I think my granddad recorded it off TV, probably the
Disney Channel, onto a VHS. I loved the movie and love the message of this
song. Live life, loving every minute.</div>
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3)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Colors of
the Wind. Again, thank you Disney. I was 10 when this movie came out. I
remember my mom got the sheet music for this song and would play it on the
piano. We’d all gather around and sing. One of my favourite family
memories—gathering around the piano. I remember pretending to be Pocahontas as
I ran barefoot through the field by our house. And would pretend I was John
Smith on the beaches of Parksville on family trips with the Arnotts. Great
memories.</div>
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4) Wonderwall by Oasis. Me and my best friend Jess Calder
used to make our own radio stations. We were awesome, let me tell you. We’d
even make our own commercials. I wonder where those tapes ever got to. I
remember we’d take her piggy bank for one of the ads. I don’t remember if it
was for ICBC (car insurance company) or what but we slammed the piggy bank down
during the ad, pretending it was a car wreck. Oasis was one of our favourite
bands and takes me right back to all those days and nights we hung out. </div>
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5) N’Sync’s I Want you Back and Jann Arden’s Insensitive tie
for my middle school days. My neighbor, Will, would come over every day and
blare my N’Sync album. I remember waking up to him sneaking into my bedroom one
morning just to play it. Then Jann Arden’s Insensitive reminds me of my first
love, Jason Boyes. He was my sister’s best friend’s younger brother in
Kamloops. Phew, that’s a mouthful. We met, I fell in love, basically the end.
My dad also lived in Kamloops so I’d see Jason when I visited him. I remember
listening to this song on the radio as we left the city limits of Kamloops.
Even though the song’s not exactly romantic, it really reminded me of Jason.</div>
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6) Show Me Love by Robyn. Also takes me back to middle
school. I forgot about this until just now. My friend Danielle Lachmanec and I
used to talk on the phone a lot. I have no idea what we’d talk about but I seem
to recall we’d both watch Much Music (while on the phone) and this song was on a lot. I also
remember Danielle made these awesome double baked potatoes that had all sorts
of goodness in them. Good times.</div>
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7) Anything by the Dixie Chicks or Eminem will take me back
to high school. Especially Cowboy Take me Away and I’m Back. I’ll let you guess
who’s responsible for which song. I remember my first Dixie Chicks concert. I
wasn’t super close with the “Prevost Girls” yet but we had a great time and
still have a blast together over a decade later. Love the Chicks and love the
girls I went to my first Dixie Chicks concert with.</div>
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8) Heart of Glass by Blondie reminds me of my Grade 12 year.
Laura Brandon introduced me to Blondie, and makeup, and growing up. We used to
blare this song from her mom’s car. I don’t know if we were listening to
Blondie but I do remember this one time we thought it would be a good idea to cruise
out the sunroof in Laura’s car. All fun and games until we got pulled over for
not wearing seatbelts. Oops.</div>
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9) Outkast’s Hey Ya. First year of university at Mount Royal
in Calgary. Me, Kristy, Lisa and Mieke had some great times. Most of them
revolved around dancing. They even came to a church dance with me once and
helped me meet my first boyfriend, Ramsey Jones. I thought he was so cute and
couldn’t believe he would be interested in me. Oh Ramsey. We had fun..on the
couch..the girls loved it.</div>
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10) When Will I be Loved from the soundtrack of 8 Seconds. I
remember picking up this movie at the nearest corner store. That song. That
movie. Takes me right back to that year in Calgary. Vicariously living through
the girls’ adventures at Ranchman's.</div>
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11) Beautiful Mess by Diamond Rio. It reminds me of the
second guy I ever dated. I never quite felt like myself with him but loved the
whirlwind while I was in it.</div>
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12) Daniel Powter’s Bad Day. I’ve been so, so lucky to have
some amazing friends and people in my life. Seriously. Nathaniel Watters, Meg
Thebo and Sarah Asmundson included. We had some great road trips down to
General Conference and Nathaniel had Daniel Powter’s CD on one of them The
whole CD takes me back but that song in particular. Even though there weren’t
many bad days with Than and the crew around.</div>
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13) Spice Girls’ Wannabe. My first year at BYU-I was all I
hoped for and more. Early on, Jazz, Amber and I hit it off. So lucky to have
such great roommates. Our momma bears Daphne, Camilla and Duka too. I think it
must have been Jasmine’s birthday which means we would have known each other for all
of two weeks. I decided to serenade her with an acoustic version of Wannabe. It
was awful. But awesome. All in one.</div>
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14) Voice inside my head by the Dixie Chicks. I hated that
guys could get in my head but they could and they did. I don’t like to live
with ‘what could have beens’ but that summer I did. Couldn’t help but wonder if
I’d let a good guy go. Hindsight’s 20/20 but at that time it was a little
blurry.</div>
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15) Consider the Lilies by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Love, love, love this song. Love its message. I tend to worry. Just ask
Sterling. I’m constantly planning, budgeting, goal-setting. I just want to make
sure my ducks are in a row and I’m safe for a rainy day. This song brings me
back to reality and reminds me to trust Him. I had the honour of singing it in
Sacrament meeting with my friend Matt Stowers my first year at BYU-I.</div>
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16) Infidelity by Regina Spektor. I loved it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not infidelity itself but the song. I
actually didn’t know that’s what it was called until just now. I just loved the
whole ‘ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-heart’ part. My poor roommates, as I recall,
not so much. Living with Christina, Angie, Tessa and Amber was awesome. Cool,
cool people. I have a pretty awesome roommate now but have been lucky over the
years.</div>
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17) Apple Bottom Jeans by T-Pain will always remind me of
BYU-I basketball and my life partner Wendizzle. Unfortunately, Sterling and Brad have
gotten in the way of our life pact to live in Hawaii together and surf every
day. Alas, we’ll always have Rexburg. The complete opposite of Hawaii.</div>
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18) Cupid’s Chokehold by Gym Class Heroes. Playing this with
Jacob and Shane at Guitars Unplugged was probably one of my favourite memories
from BYU-I (other than the whole meeting my husband part…). I remember the
first time I sat by Jacob in the Scroll (newspaper) office I thought he was a
total rebel. I was judgmental and thought ‘no chance I become friends with this
guy’. Little did I know, he was a super cool guy and would become one of my
favourite people I had the pleasure of meeting at BYU-I. </div>
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19) Clocks by Coldplay. Another shout out to the Scroll.
Thank you Scroll iTunes for introducing me to Clocks. And the soundtrack to
Wicked. To this day, Clocks takes me right back to late nights and early
mornings in the Scroll office.</div>
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20) California by Metrostation. Really any song from that
album reminds me of summer with Freeze, Kimbo and Sammi and brings a smile to
my face. Probably the most carefree, fun summer I’ve ever had. We consumed a
lot of bottled soda and acted like hooligans. Sorry Coach Kyle if you’re
reading this. That was us that trashed your car. But I’m pretty sure we filled
it with Snickers bars too so that made up for it, right?</div>
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21) Use Somebody by Kings of Leon takes me right back to a
winter day in Seattle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did a lot
of driving that fall and winter and I’m pretty sure it was on every other song
on the radio at that time. It reminds me of someone I cared a lot about. He was
exactly what I needed and hopefully for a bit, I was what he needed too. </div>
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22) Coming to Terms by Carolina Liar. Very cool, underrated
band. I ran a lot to this song and this album. Good rhythm and great lyrics. Better
breakup song.</div>
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23) Halo by Beyonce. I thought I’d closed my heart pretty
good when I went back to Rexburg for my final semester. Then I met this
Sterling guy. So much for that…</div>
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24) Only you can love me this way by Keith Urban. It ended
up being our wedding song and says it all. Like I said, I’m a planner but I
didn’t plan for Sterling. He came when I least expected him. After years of
wishing and hoping for the perfect guy, right when I’d resolved to be a career
driven woman, he came along. And I’m so glad. He is so, so good to me. Too good
sometimes. I got so lucky. Blessed, really.</div>
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Bonus Tracks:</div>
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Elvis' Teddy Bear. Perhaps I spoke out of turn saying Jason was my first love. I was obsessed with Elvis as a kid. I would strum a tennis racket and play Teddy Bear or Don't be Cruel or any one of his many hits. Classic.<br />
<br />
Green Day’s <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Basket Case. I have it in my head more than any other song
and have no idea why. I do often tell kids ‘no one likes a whiner’. </div>
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Hanson’s Save Me. It’s Hanson. Need I say more?</div>
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Peaches by the Presidents. Love peaches. Whether they come
from a can and were put there by a man or not. Another throwback to Jess and
our DJing days.</div>
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Bryan Adams’ Summer of ’69. I have so many great memories
attached to this song and they all revolve around the D-Town Girls. Another
song that brings a smile to my face.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-87319159122372671272013-04-22T00:13:00.002-07:002013-04-22T08:32:16.340-07:00No Fear<style>
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When I was a kid, late at night I was sure either E.T. or
the Bogey Man were coming to get me. Not every night but enough restless
nights for me to remember.</div>
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Sometimes I would even sleep upside down to try to trick
them into thinking my head was where my feet were and vice versa. My trickery
sure paid off because neither of them ever got me.</div>
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In reality, I was safe in my home yet I had this very real
fear that the shadow in the corner of my room was waiting for me to make a wrong
move so they could get me.</div>
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A lot’s changed since then. The shadows in my room are
easily identified as my running shoes, purse, or Sterling’s books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But those very real fears are still
there. Just about different things now.</div>
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This past week led to a number of these fears resurfacing. I
started wondering how safe my safe city really was. Ah the trappings of terror.
Earthquakes, hateful acts, fire and brimstone. Make you wonder if everything’s
going to be alright in paradise.</div>
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If only we could live in the cloudy Kingdom of Caring with
Brave Heart Lion and my other favourite Care Bears. Things would be simpler
there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until No Heart made an
appearance. That No Heart was never up to any good.</div>
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But True Heart and Cheer Heart and Love-a-Lot Bear—they were
there to thwart the evil efforts of No Heart and Beastly. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were there to right the wrongs.</div>
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Thankfully, I learned that lesson early on. As long as
there’s good in the world—whether it’s the United Kingdom or the Kingdom of
Caring—the bad can’t prevail. It won’t prevail.</div>
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I don’t know if there’s more bad today than there was in my
five-year-old self’s world. Social media and the internet certainly make it
seem like it. But they also shed light on some incredible acts of humanity in
the face of heinous events.</div>
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Those acts of kindness and humanity help alleviate those
fears. The outpouring of love, charity, community and kindness…the way people
come together. Images like that make the Bogey Man disappear.</div>
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He might be ready to stop us in our tracks but we won't let him. Not this
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-57556725900879088522013-03-28T22:34:00.002-07:002013-03-31T16:39:47.493-07:00Easy Does It<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">The
other day I got the worst paper cut I’ve had. Ever. It was completely
my fault. I was careless in the hazardous task of photocopying. There it
was, a large stack
of statistics (sorry my tree-loving friends). I just needed to take it
from point A: the photocopier, to point B: the box to carry the finished
product up to the press box.</span></span><br />
<br />
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</div>
<div style="margin: 0;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
bit off more than I could chew. Underestimated the power of a stack of
paper. I grabbed them; they slipped. That terrible feeling of flesh
separating itself. I bled.
Right down the tip of my middle finger so even now, as I type, I’m
reminded by the sting.</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
should have just taken a manageable stack. A few manageable stacks and
the job would have been done, paper cut-free. Sometimes ambition can be
our greatest friend
and sometimes, our sorest enemy. Everything in moderation, right? I had
too much.</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I
was reminded of this today as I spoke with my friend at work. She cited
a phrase that more of us would do well to adhere to: done is better
than perfect. I believe
this was coined or certainly used by Facebook. I don’t know but I’d say
their business model has turned out pretty well.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">But
perfect is that ever elusive place we pine for, don’t we? It’s why
dieting, exercising, yogaing, makeuping and plastic surgerying are so
popular these days. The
definition of perfection may change from generation to generation but
the pursuit of it does not. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">The
pursuit continues because reaching it just can’t happen. Not here. Not
now. We can mirror perfection, get close—so close we can taste it but
there’s always something
more, better, different…</span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0;">
</div>
<div style="margin: 0;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">So
we adjust our standards. I’m not saying we give up, give in and stop
giving a darn. Just realize the picket fence that never peels, the waistline that always appeals
and the perfect spouse who’s even keel—those things don’t exist every
day. Enjoy the moments they do. Don’t fret the moments they don’t. And
just do your best. Done, after all, is better than perfect.</span></span></div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-65446542257260930442013-03-24T17:45:00.002-07:002013-03-25T23:40:09.674-07:00A Whale of a Tale?<style>
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</style>I don’t know if you know this but I’m a self proclaimed
Hanson lover. If there is such a thing. I don’t listen to them very much
anymore but do make sure to attend any concert they put on in a city near me.<br />
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Legit Hanson fans will recall a very early album, Three Car
Garage. On that album, there’s a song called Stories. It repeats a line over
and over…and over (remember Mmmbop?): </div>
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Stories will be told</div>
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From when our children are young</div>
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Until they’re old</div>
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Lyrical geniuses those Hanson brothers were!</div>
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I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Not that the
Hanson brothers are awesome (although they are) but about my story. What’s
going to be told?</div>
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Just this afternoon I saw a post about an amazing woman with
an incredible story. At least the parts that have been told. Irena Sendler. She
has an awesomely heroic yet tragic and inspiring story. Check it out if you
can.</div>
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I wonder if she knew she was as awesome as she was. I think
we all probably go through phases where we’re feeling pretty boss. Things are
clicking in all the right areas, we’re utilizing our talents and time
well—we’re getting stuff done, taking names and leaving a blazing trail in our
wake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love to hear these stories
and have these stories of awesomeness told.</div>
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Then there are those times when we’re barely getting by.
Relationships are suffering, neglected and showing cracks at the seams. Work,
money, play—all leave much to be desired. We can’t seem to do anything right
and just don’t feel like there’s any way to rise above whatever’s crushing us any
given day. Put the pen away for these stories. Feels like there's nothing to see, nothing to say
here, folks.</div>
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Then there’s 'La-dee-da Land'. Or Goldilocks land maybe? Not
too hot, not too cold, just right. Just a little complacent though. We’re not
doing anything exceptional, good or bad. There’s not much to think about,
stress about or do period because, well, we’re comfortable just getting by. Not
much to write about here either.</div>
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Although boring, this is a great place to be—for a while at
least. It’s got an expiry date though. Or at least it should. After the first
month, you start to wonder what that steaming hot bowl of porridge would be
like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Worse, you start to expect
it. Every morning you wonder if this, this will be the day you burn your tongue.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The beauty is, it’s in those uncomfortable experiences that
stories are written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is
something to see and something to say.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your tongue aches but you’ve got a tale to tell. And
inevitably, a tougher tongue. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And better yet, you’re not the only one walking around with
a burned tongue. That’s where relationships are really forged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people in our story might even offer
some soothing ointment to take out the sting. Some might toss some Tabasco
sauce in our next bowl just to add insult to injury. We can’t always tell who’s
who in our story or where our story’s going but we can tell who we are. How we act
and react. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stories will be told</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From when our children are young</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Until they’re old</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not sure what mine’s going to say but I hope at least
it’s said. What’s your story? Is it all Nancy Drew or Sherlock Holmes like? Maybe a little Scarlet Letter or Les Miserables? That'd be epic if it was Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings-esque. Whatever it is, I hope you own it. It's the least we can do.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-67668728573693695322013-02-25T00:06:00.002-08:002013-02-25T00:17:27.413-08:00Nostalgia-osis<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday Sterling gave me the gift of time travel. Not the
Marty McFly type (still waiting!) but more like a trip down memory lane. While
we were putting off washing our car without a hose (longish story), he started
playing some throwback jams. I’m talking Bone Thugs N’ Harmony, Coolio, Puff
Daddy (before his umpteenth name change and JLo), Warren G, 2Pac and Hanson. I
know, we’re super gangster. Especially with that last one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So naturally the throwback jams led me to a favourite
pastime, playing Nintendo. And that led to reminiscing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will never forget a sleepover at my friend Amanda
Whiting’s. We were always good for shenanigans at those sleepovers. She had
this pool table and a music player in the basement. Perfect ingredients for
good times to be had.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So it must have been Grade 5 or 6 (fifth or sixth grade for
my American comrades) when we busted out Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise at
Amanda’s birthday party. Being the cool kids we were, we made up a dance and
rapped along “minute after minute, hour after hour”. Or at least for the length
of the party.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What transpired yesterday led to some awkwardness…and a
letdown…and a subsequent therapeutic car washing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to go send Amanda, and a couple of friends from that
party, the link to Gangsta’s Paradise with the plan to instigate what would
hopefully be a fond remembrance of good times. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To my dismay, I found I’m no longer Facebook friends with two
of the girls. Ouch. Thank you Amanda for hanging in there. I’m happy to read
updates about your moves and schooling and marital bliss, even though I never
tell you as such. My apologies.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So if you’re reading this and are considering ending our
virtual friendship, please don’t click the dreaded ‘unfriend’ button. Just
don’t.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m awful at keeping in touch but I do creep on your walls
when you least expect it (sounds even creepier in print) and I do
sporadically...like once a decade…give in to the urge to take friends down
memory lane with a song or quick recap of an epic time. I read your blogs. I
laugh at your outtakes. My heart hurts at your sorrows.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m trying to do better. Actually, this January 1st I made a
dreaded resolution that I’m slightly sucking at. I resolved to write a snail
mail letter each week. I’ve written a handful now but am slacking at tracking
down addresses to send them to. So, if you’re reading this and would like to
help me finish this 52-letter resolution, fire me a private message with your
address. I’ll try not to disappoint.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cheers to staying in touch and keepin’ it real.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-548212441075900042012-12-19T17:47:00.004-08:002012-12-19T17:52:55.889-08:00Ch-ch-ch-changesThe end of a year typically gets me reflecting about where I've been, what I've done, who I've rubbed shoulders with in the previous 330 or so days.<br />
<br />
This has been one funky year. You know that Super Mario rainbow track where the colours are so vibrant and blinding they almost become hypnotic? If you're not careful, you end up over the edge, waiting for the little cloud man to rescue you. This year just might be like that track.<br />
<br />
I was recently working on a Christmas letter (soon to be shared if I can align my desires with wonderful technology) and as I went through the year, month by month, it dawned on me. For a year uneventful at first glance, this one's been a doozy.<br />
<br />
2012 started with a road trip to Alberta with three people I just think the world of: Sterling, Annamieke and Aaron. I honestly feel so blessed to have each of them in my life. I think I've blogged before about how much I treasured that opportunity. And I still do. I will always appreciate having those last hours to spend with my nephew on this Earth. Even not knowing that would be my last visit with him, it was special at the time.<br />
<br />
Then there was February, when Zachary made his way to Heaven. March and its 11 home games, a memorial service for Zachary, my first and second crowns (on my teeth) and preparation for our third move in as many years. April with the move itself, my first in-season road trip with the team, the playoffs, injuring my hip playing basketball and a couple of epic concerts. Then there was a summer of road trips, family reunions and hip treatments. We covered over 8,000 kilometres in our car and made that many memories and then some.<br />
<br />
The fall brought more opportunities and more memories. The lockout started September 15th, which in turn signaled a reduction in the work week and subsequent pay. Sterling started his internship and worked on his last class to complete his Bachelor's through BYU-Idaho. Our good friends had a baby, adorable Bennett. Our car broke down a few times for good measure then got broken into the night before I was to go to the hospital for an MR-A (MRI with a nice needle to inject contrast right into the socket of the necessary region--in this case, my hip). Around the same time, Sterling's dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Then I learned I'd need to have my hip surgically repaired and the wait list would be at least two years. Oh, and I was told not to have kids before the surgery is completed. After over 50 years in the same house, my Grammie moved. Then two of my closest friends at work made career changes that took them out of the office we'd all worked at since I started five years ago. Just this past week, Sterling graduated and also received his approval to be a permanent resident (finally!).<br />
<br />
So yeah, this year's had some changes. Hopefully it's not a sign of things to come but it just might be. Through all these changes, I am so grateful for some constants and wanted to outline them here:<br />
<br />
Family--Sterling, our parents, our siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents. I am so grateful for all of them. Sterling for his kindness, unwavering devotion and unconditional love. Parents for support and just caring--they don't have to but they do. Siblings for keeping life interesting and reminding me of my roots. Aunts and uncles for teaching me it really does take a village to raise a child. Grandparents for instilling that same principle and for showering me with a wealth of wisdom only experience can bring. Cousins for sharing so many memories and making more with me: Rook, hockey, days in the park, and ping pong games. So glad to have cousins Drew, Michelle, Dave, Meg, Mark and Robbie so close we can catch up. I always worried I'd lose touch with my cousins like my parents had with theirs. So far, so good. I love each one of them.<br />
<br />
Friends--I'm awful at keeping in touch. It's a big part of why I blog. I really take to heart that quote that true friendship isn't being inseparable, it's being separated and nothing changes. I feel that way about so many friends I hold dear, even though I don't say it nearly enough. My D-town girls, old roommates, friends I've worked with, worshiped with. I think of them often and love that when we do see each other, it's as though we'd never spent any time apart at all. I was so glad to see former roommates Kimbo and Wendizzle this past summer. I love weddings, because they bring so many people together, and this past summer's festivities were no exception. Maybe we don't live together, work together or even share the same zip/postal code anymore but I still cherish our memories and hope to make more.<br />
<br />
Faith--My constant companion. Though it's wavered and weakened at times, especially the difficult ones, ultimately it's been my buoy. Lifting me up in stormy waters. I don't know everything, not even close, but I know when I pray, He listens. I'm still learning. He's patient. Thankfully.<br />
<br />
Fortune--Money's been a sore spot this year but those three constants I outlined above have led to the greatest fortune I could ever hope for.<br />
<br />
Fun--Even in darker times, fun has played a role throughout this year. Whether it's been sports, games or just a late night talk that gets a little silly because that's what being tired can do to a person...there's been no shortage of fun this year. <br />
<br />
So with those four fs (I always loved alliteration) I get ready to bid farewell to 2012. Come on over 2013. We've been waiting.J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-68458878929441266242012-12-14T22:59:00.003-08:002012-12-14T23:01:29.628-08:00All we need is...<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s not
all we need but sometimes it’s enough.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">Love.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">Songs,
books, movies, art..all have been created in one way or another to honour it.
And yet, we don’t. Not always. Not when it counts the most.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">Today
tragedy struck. Senseless, devastating, heart wrenching tragedy. It stripped
lives of the innocent; hope from humanity. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">The news
out of Connecticut today, then China, was heartbreaking. I know I’m not alone
in its effects. Social media flooded with sentiments, opinions, outrage, shock
and dismay, over the day’s events.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">I
instantly wondered why? Who? How? The media (albeit inaccurately and prematurely
for large parts of the day) had answered the who, what and where questions. But
the harder questions. Those still linger. Maybe we’ll find some answers. I hope
we don’t have to ask them again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">Too many
guns? Too many untreated mental illnesses? Too much media attention creating
notoriety-seeking psychopaths? Could it be video games? Is this a media
monster? Is this an American problem?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">Too many
questions we don’t have the answers for.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">It’s so
wrong that there are so many days like this to remember or forget..but there
are. This has happened too many times. Each time it happens, I, like many, go
through a gamut of emotions. Shock, sadness, wonder, despair, anger, more
sadness. I want to blame someone but this has happened too many times to blame
any one person or any one thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11pt;">Yes, those committing these heinous acts are wrong for taking out whatever's going on inside on others outside. Maybe, just maybe, there needed to be more intervention when it came to mental health. Maybe there were warning signs. And yes, gun reform needs to happen. It’s too late in many cases but not
too late to act as some sort of prevention for repeats of today’s events. No
human being should ever hold, use, own or find need for a semi-automatic
weapon. Why we’ve created these killing machines, I’ll never know.
One-upmanship I suppose. All I know is this world would be a lot better place
without them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">This isn’t
just a gun issue though. This is a humanity issue.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
outpouring of love, harmony, community and turning to God is so awe inspiring
after days like today. But then it waxes and wanes and it feels like the
coldness seeps back into our hearts before we even know it’s there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">On my
drive home from work, my heart ached especially for the families, friends and
first responders all affected directly by the actions of one man. I wanted to
become a beacon of love for everyone. Live charity every day, not just around
the Christmas holidays or when my heart was feeling full because a tragedy
reminded me how precious life is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">But then
when a begging man approached my car, all I gave him was a wave and an “I’m
sorry” even though I’m not. I’m just selfish. I’d rather hang onto my few
pennies and dimes rather than give another a handful of hope.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt;">There it
was, my chance to lift another’s spirit in some small way. But I reasoned and
reckoned my way out of helping. And that’s not the first time.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">What I take from all of this is that time is short. Sometimes
too short. So we do our best to make the best of it. And we fall short. Then we
try again. We give where we can, love when it counts, hug when it hurts and
when it just seems to fit the moment. And sometimes we don't. Sometimes we go cold.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">Thoughts and prayers will go a long way. Advocacy for
change too. I personally am pushing for all of them but I believe where we
really make the most of our time here is when we love. Love now while we can
because, while I believe love endures beyond this often messed up world, right now,
this world’s what we’ve got.</span></div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-56655814528413942982012-08-27T00:07:00.002-07:002012-08-27T00:11:12.895-07:00An Owly Observation<style>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
For the longest time I thought the intro song to CSI went
something like “Ooooo Wally---Ooo Ooo. Ooo ooo.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What a day when I learned it was actually “Who are you—who
who? Who who?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That made so much more sense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So lately I’ve had that line in my head. Who are you?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last spring I suffered a bit of an injury. Enough of one
that I invested a lot of money into getting better and actually stopped playing
sports. I think 1986 may have been the last time I went this long without
playing sports.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently I had an appointment where the doctor told me she
believed I would need a surgery to get back to activity and that since it was
such a specialized surgery I would need to wait a couple of years to get it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It rocked my foundation a little bit. Who am I if not an
athlete? That’s basically been the centre of my universe for as long as I can
remember.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In high school when it came down to choosing between
seminary and early morning practices I made the easy choice---morning
practices. Confession: I slightly regret that because I feel like I missed out
not attending seminary. Alas, sports were my priority. And have been all along
I suppose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
As a kid I collected hockey cards—off Kraft Dinner and Jell-O boxes even. I
watched the Blue Jays win the World Series. Twice. I rollerbladed around my
garage, hockey stick in hand as I listened to the heartache of Game 7 during
the Canucks ’94 run to the Stanley Cup. I fell in love with field hockey and
dribbled around my living room night after night. I shot hundreds of baskets every
day on my younger siblings’ Fisherprice basketball hoop. I’m sure if I asked my
mom, she’d say my first word was “win”. Because I love to win and love even
more the pursuit of becoming a winner.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When my grandma said I needed to stop watching Sportcentre
and start focusing on getting a real job I made a job in sports my focus. And
then it happened. The stars aligned and sports remained the centre of my
universe.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then in an innocent basketball game, in a local women’s
league, I took a hard foul courtesy of a couple of ‘ladies’ and knew something
was wrong the second I tried to stand up. For the first time in a long time I
couldn’t play through it. Not like the broken toes, shin splints and countless
aches and pains I’d shrugged off so many times.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So four months later it’s still lingering and I get this new
possibility. No sports for two years? Now what?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Could I forge a new identity after 28 years of the same old,
same old?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are sports my
identity anyways? Are we identified by what we love? Who we love? How we love?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Am I a writer, guitar player, drummer, camper, and
occasional Nintendo player? Or a wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend? Am I
loyal, ambitious, tenacious, stubborn, fair and creative?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What makes us who we are? What changes who we are?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I may not be an athlete right now and may have to reel it in
moving forward but I’ll find new ways and new things to define my identity.
For now, I am in limbo. At least that’s a start.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-64070569315964951422012-08-19T23:42:00.000-07:002012-08-19T23:42:02.626-07:00So, Sally Can Wait
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
She could have been anyone. Anyone’s sister, daughter, aunt,
friend. She didn’t tell me her name but she did tell me she was a child of God.
Hearing that warmed my heart. The rest broke it a little. Maybe a lot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When she sat down on the couch across from me in the church
foyer I figured she must have been visiting. She wore black sweatpant capris,
an Old Navy hoodie and a gray beanie on a cool summer day. Maybe she just came
from a camp site. She cleared that notion with the next twenty minutes of
heart-pulling conversation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her biological mom was a unicorn, she told me. She preferred
that term over ‘stripper’—what her mom actually was.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Without skipping a beat she shared how her adoptive father
had molested then raped her as she grew up. When the truth came out, her
adoptive mother thankfully left her husband but according to this girl, checked
out in the meantime. So there this young girl was. For whatever reason, given
up by her biological parents. Then abused by one new adoptive parent and
essentially left to her own devices by the remaining adoptive parent. In her
teenage years she said she turned to alcohol and weed for solace and eventually
became a regular in ‘the system’. In and out of foster home after foster home
she said she saw more ‘messed up stuff’ than she cared to share.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More messed up than the ‘stuff’ she’d already shared?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So now she’s at the point where she seeks peace in a church
building and wants nothing more than to just live in the woods with a dog—a
black lab or a Siberian husky.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then what? She has enough wherewithal to think there
would be consequences to just up and leaving for the woods. What would she eat?
How would she survive. You see, she explained, she is a survivor. And a child
of God. That much she knew. And she knew none of this was her fault. The stuff
she’s experienced. The things she’s done. Has had done to her. She said it’s
all her parents’ fault.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then she asked me if I thought she was going to Heaven or
Hell. Before I could open my mouth she decided out loud she deserved Heaven
because all the bad stuff she’s done is her parents’ fault.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And it got me thinking. Whose fault is it? At the surface
she seemed clean, well cared for, well adjusted. But a step closer and the
cracks at her seams come through. The black lining her teeth from years of
alcohol abuse and who knows what else. The voices she says are telling her
everyone around her is a whore. Her jittery energy she says is from ingesting too many
calories. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whose fault is it that her mortality has come to this. Is it
her parents' for making a baby they didn’t want? Is it her adoptive parents' for
taking a baby they couldn’t love the way a child deserves to be loved? Is it ‘the
system’ for letting her fall through the cracks? Is it our fault, as a larger
whole, for turning a blind eye to it all?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love that we have agency. It bothers me to no end when my
agency—or anyone’s for that matter—is jeopardized. I may choose poorly but that
is my choice to make. Did this girl have agency? Did she choose this path? I
don’t know anyone who would outright choose a life of calamities, abuse and
neglect. Or do I?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This girl did. She knew someone who chose that life. And she
clung to the idea of Him. In her despair, I think she, much more than I, could
relate to our Savior. He had suffered tremendously in His walk in mortality. At
such a young age, this girl had clearly suffered much as well. And still she
had hope. That she could learn more about Jesus. That she knew she was a
daughter of God and deserved more than this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today gave me a dose of perspective. In a world of suffering
and sin and scary, scary ‘stuff’ there is hope. There is peace. There is a
Savior we can all turn to. He might not fix everything now. He might not fix
many things now. But in time, the ultimate physician will right the wrongs.
That young girl knew this. I hope, for now, that’s enough. But I know she
deserves more than enough. She is, after all, a child of God. Aren't we all?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-53842733545538356722012-05-11T23:52:00.003-07:002013-02-25T00:17:19.605-08:004 AM<style>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes the lights go out. Just for a while. Maybe longer
than we’d like. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never thought I’d be the type to get short on words when
it comes to writing but when my nephew passed away this past February the words
stopped coming. The lights went out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thankfully it was a busy time of the work year so I was able
to dive right into preparation for what would surely be another long playoff
run. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My heart did ache knowing that not everybody who knew and loved
my nephew Zachary had the luxury of delving into busy distractions. The quiet
of evening swallowed me whole on more than one occasion. I could only imagine
what it was like for my loved ones whose days and nights blended together
without interruptions of requests and phone calls and ‘important’ things to be
done.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They say everybody goes through the grieving process. It
might look different from one person to the next but apparently involves shock
and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining,
depression/reflection/loneliness, the ‘upward turn’ (sunshine and lollipops,
right?), reconstruction and working through, and then acceptance and hope.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know if
I’ve gone through any of those let alone all of them. Certainly I was very
angry very early. I can tell you that much. Good thing there weren’t any sports
or board games to be played at that time because my fuse was short. Dodged that
one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Initially, I didn’t want to tell anyone about what had
happened. Maybe that was my way of denying it had. In my mind I was worried if
I opened my mouth to say those words, the dam I had so carefully constructed
emotionally would break and the tears and who knows what...would come. If there’s one thing my dad
taught me, it’s nobody likes a cry baby--and that Fruit & Nut chocolate
bars are the best breakfast for early morning hunting trips (don’t worry, I
never hit anything but coins and markings on a wood stump).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then one night something clicked. I think it was a light
switch, somewhere. I grabbed my guitar. My therapy so many times before. And
started playing a song that began with lines I’d been living for weeks:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m okay on the outside but it’s all caving in. I can
pretend that I’m alright but I’m close to the edge.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know I’m not the only one that was feeling that way. That
has felt that way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought about calling this entry “Don’t say your $%*@
don’t stink” but thought my LDS friends would think I’d gone apostate.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But really, we’ve all got stinky parts to us. Some people
wear the stinky parts on their sleeves (ew…bad visual). Some people quietly
carry the stinky stuff, trapped under its weight. However it appears or doesn’t
appear, it’s there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Only time can teach you certain lessons but golly do I wish
I’d learned a lot earlier not to judge other people. You can’t ever know what’s
in their heart. What’s in their lives. In hindsight I remember kids in
elementary school that came from very broken homes. My best friend up until I
was five was living with his grandparents because (as I later found out) he’d suffered
at the hands of a pedophile. I never knew! I never knew.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We might never know. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But we can love. We can embrace. We can show compassion. We
can show understanding…sometimes, many times, without understanding.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recently my cousin posed the question on facebook about the
Coldplay line “every tear is a waterfall”. What does that mean?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To me, it means we’re all connected. Pain can beget pain.
Likewise, joy can beget joy. We can’t control everything. But we can control
some things. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be love. Be embrace. Be compassion. Be understanding. Be there.</div>
J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-84395922617552413632012-02-01T22:09:00.000-08:002012-02-01T22:11:30.618-08:00Taking Notice<style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Arial; panose-1:2 11 6 4 2 2 2 2 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:35.4pt; mso-footer-margin:35.4pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Maybe it’s something to do with being raised as one of five kids but I’ve always wanted to be noticed</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Astrology says it’s because I’m a Leo. We crave the spotlight. My Sunday School teacher when I was 12 said I shouldn’t believe horoscopes. I’m still working on it.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Whatever the cause, I know it’s there. My need for affirmation, attention, adulation even. I was the kid that turned the fireplace mantle into a stage. My tennis racquet into a guitar. My hair brush: a microphone. Once I learned sports could get me attention, I focused pretty much all my energy into becoming good at whatever I did.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">At the end of the day, I wanted to stand out.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">Somehow I don’t think I’m alone.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I’m starting to think sometimes it’s over-rated—standing out.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">In the last year, a place I frequent changed their cleaning system. Or cleaners. Or something. All I know is now I notice things. Not good things. The foul smell in their bathroom. Spot marks on the doors and walls. Things that went unnoticed for however long I’d been to this place now are noticeable. They stand out. But not for the right reasons.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">I wish I could tell those old cleaners how great of a job they did. I didn’t even notice.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">It’s like that with a lot of things. The stay at home defenceman who never scores aka never gets talked about but also never gets scored on. I’ve blogged about them before but I can’t say enough about the real heroes of this world—mothers, fathers, caretakers, guardians, teachers, nurses, doctors, bus drivers (the kind that let you on the bus when it’s pouring ice pellets), garbage men—I could go on. There are so many good people and good things that go unnoticed. And are far too under appreciated.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">The 10<sup>th</sup> day in a row of blue sky in the middle of summer. Blooming flowers on the 21<sup>st</sup> day of Spring. A toilet that flushes. Water you can drink, wash your face with and brush your teeth with and not worry it’ll cripple your gut with disease and whatever else is in it. A spouse who isn’t perfect but is there for you. The sound of your loved one’s voice on the other end of a telephone line.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Arial;">So many things that are so great. And I don’t notice them. Maybe it was the smell of urine in that bathroom or just the reflection and introspection that comes with the dawning of a New Year but I want to change that. It shouldn’t have to take fireworks and a big bang to notice something wonderful. Wonderful is everywhere. We just have to look for it. I just have to look for it.</span></p>J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-69620253230453042632012-01-22T23:59:00.000-08:002012-01-23T00:08:00.910-08:00Switching it up<style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:35.4pt; mso-footer-margin:35.4pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --></style><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">Recently a colleague of mine tweeted a link to a newspaper article supposedly printed in 1911. The article featured a number of experts projecting what they thought 2011 would bring.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">Some of their assertions were pretty bang on. Some—like the notion that mosquitoes would no longer exist—not so much. Too bad.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">It got me thinking. About the future. I know it’s 2012 and the Mayans say I should live in the here and now but I did spend a moment thinking about what the future will bring.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">I didn’t want to kill too many brain cells so I stopped at this one: no off buttons for electronics.<br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">I personally have a mini panic attack when I think for a moment I’ve left my cell phone/iPod/insert electronic gadget here at home. I’m pretty good (touch wood) at keeping track of my belongings so it’s quickly followed by a great sense of relief when I remember I just put it in a different pocket than usual.<br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">I rarely turn my cell phone off. That moment of peace and serenity is reserved for traveling when I don’t want to incur roaming charges. Typically switching that off button is quickly followed by an itching to get to the nearest computer to check my email. Scour Facebook. Update my fantasy hockey team’s roster. You know, all that really important stuff.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">I think we won’t even have to wait 100 years to see the disappearance of the off switch. Rather than an off switch there will be standby. At the ready. Seems so much more fitting. Energy conservation will be greatly improved and we’ll never have to feel that anxiety of being fully ‘out of touch’.<br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">Heretics like my dad, who insist on not being cell phone laden, will be a distant memory captured in 300 pixel images. Off and on will be reserved for things like faucets and washing machines. And even then it won’t be like now. Touching a faucet handle will be viewed as loathsome as licking a toilet seat. All those germs? So 2012. A wave of the hand. A voice command. Whatever it is, the off/on switch as we know it will be completely different. Or at least that’s what I think.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">Maybe I’m wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time. Won’t be the last.<br /></p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">Electronics won’t have off switches but we still will. At least I hope so. Sure we’re all about maximizing every minute of the day—fitting more and more tasks into an impossibly crammed day. Day after day. But the need to rejuvenate won’t be replaced by gadgets or gizmos.</p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">In bygone eras when people had to actually labor for food, shelter and other basic needs, there was still a time for down time. There was still a time to turn the work mode off.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">I imagine days were pretty routine. Wake with the sun. Work through the day. Eat at the same time each day. Retire at dusk. Rinse and repeat.</p><p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" class="MsoNormal">Now things aren’t necessarily so routine. The challenge is knowing when to turn off. And when to turn back on. I’ll be the first to admit, some days I don’t feel like I’ve hit my on switch. Whether it’s emotional, mental, physical or spiritual—sometimes I feel a little off. It’s a work in progress. I fool myself into believing some people are always on. But I don’t think that’s the case. We all turn off sometimes. We just have to make sure we turn back on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p>J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7611626500422596847.post-18662511541301683582011-12-20T23:41:00.001-08:002011-12-20T23:43:08.804-08:00The Circle of Life<style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} @font-face {font-family:Cambria; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:35.4pt; mso-footer-margin:35.4pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Sometimes they just hit you. Life lessons. When you least expect them, they sneak up and snap you out of whatever good or bad routine you’ve got going.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">This morning we had some excitement at work. Michael Buble joined the team for the morning. He also brought some family members—including a half-year-old babe.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">It was an interesting way to start the day. There was this little guy so dependent on his dad for care. His dad dutifully and happily catered to his every need. Without a thanks or any real compensation except maybe the baby’s fussing stopping.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Just hours removed from that exchange I got to see the other end of the spectrum. I was able to join a number of young girls from my church at a care home as we caroled Christmas songs.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I was really taken aback at how dependent these elderly people were. How their independence had been stripped with age. As powerful, wise, able-bodied and sociable they’d been the majority of their lives, those days were over. Time had erased those qualities. The markings of age left many of them incoherent, crippled, powerless and strangely alone in a crowd.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">As harsh as it seems, the care home was full of them. These hollow remains of once productive and fully functioning men and women. I thought of myself now. Before the years have caught up to me. I can have a two-way conversation. I can pick myself out of a chair and walk, run, bend—and not break.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">When these dear, elderly people spoke tonight it was unadulterated speech. Pure, innocent and honest words. Not all of them made sense but I knew they were genuine and grateful. The simplest utterances I could understand: Merry Christmas.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">The years, age, disease and illness hadn’t stripped away their Christmas spirit. I saw a trend of innocence in the two ends of life’s spectrum. The two times when one’s reigning traits are naïve, trusting, dependent and pure.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">Whether straight from Heaven or knocking on Heaven’s door there are commonalities. We must rely on love to survive. Parents, caretakers, family and friends all help us through those most humble stages of life.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I am in awe of every mother and father, guardian and grandparent who ceaselessly cares for babies through infancy and into childhood. Each baby’s arrival in school years is a great miracle of love, charity and endurance. I can’t imagine where I would be without loving and charitable parents who tended to my needs. Night after thankless night.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">For those with little ones, I commend you. You are building the future. You are making a difference.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">I am also greatly inspired by those who care for strangers and loved ones in the final stages of life. Whether due to illness or age, the care it takes in those final stages is taxing and often unheralded.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:Calibri;">For you angels on earth who tend to the needs of the age-stricken and those at end of life, thank you. You are true heroes.<br /></span></p>J-Rohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13666040325449808463noreply@blogger.com0