A Time to Heal

I’d been looking ahead to today for a while now. Dreading it almost. Today would have been my nephew Zachary’s 11^th birthday. But Amy and Kirk’s handsome son, Josh and Avalayne’s older brother, Grandma and Grandpa’s little guy…he wasn’t here for it.

Last year, this day hurt. Memories of Zachary stung deep and brought tears I couldn’t fight. It was the first birthday he was in Heaven instead of right here with us. Even though I knew without a doubt he was in a much better place with his Heavenly Father and Savior. That he’d found comfort there that he never tasted here on earth. Selfishly, I missed him too much.

Funny how time works though. This year, the sting’s not as strong. Not because the memories are fading but because they’ve become fonder.

When Zachy was just a little guy, I had the privilege of getting to spend a Fall with him. I hold onto those memories tightly; both for the time I got to spend with him and with my sister’s growing family.

Zach used to just light up when I’d put his dad’s gel in his hair. It was like he knew that meant he was going somewhere. On an adventure of some sort, even if it was just to the grocery store.

When Calgary wasn’t a tundra and there was no ice on the sidewalks, I would strap on my rollerblades and push Zach in his wheelchair to the store. He’d be laughing hysterically the entire way.

Zach couldn't walk but that didn't mean he couldn't dance. When he was small enough, I'd grab him under his armpits, tell him to 'put on his dancing shoes' and DANCE! He'd kick his feet furiously and let out that boisterous belly laugh as he 'danced' across the floor.

I cherished those moments. And do still even more so now. Thankfully, they far outshine the many tough and frustrating days he had in a body that never did him any favours.

Except for that smile. And the twinkle in his eyes.

I miss them. I miss him. But the ache’s fading. I pain less for him and more for his family and loved ones still missing him.

Zachary James Schofield. Today, and every day, I thought of you. A lot. Because I had the chance to know you, to love you and to learn so much from you. And for that, I am so thankful.