Lately I’ve been trying to wrap my head around mental illness. Ironic, I know. Something that exists in that small, wonderful but at times troubled space for so many, I thankfully cannot comprehend.
Life’s been a challenge at times. Certainly there have been ups and downs. I cannot think of a time that a darkness has consumed me though. Self hatred and doubt have come to call in my life but never hung around.
For that I feel blessed.
I have family members who have battled mental illness and I admit at times I’ve approached it with ignorance rather than acceptance. Maybe it’s a protective mechanism. If I don’t acknowledge or embrace that part of them, it won’t be there. But it is. And it will be there. Whether we talk about it or talk around it.
I remember in my final semester of university taking Adult Psychology. One of the subjects we spent some time on was depression and mental illness in adults. My professor was of the school of thought that depression was highly over diagnosed. He prescribed to the idea that from his experience as a counselor, his patients seeking help to overcome depression needed to find balance in their diet, exercise routine, sleep patterns and charitable efforts. He felt that the presence of those four variables in balance would help alleviate depression.
Seems simple. I don’t think it is. If it was that cut and dry, I don’t believe I’d be writing this, mulling over the monsters of mental illness. Were it that simple, I don’t think people with seemingly so much promise would fall so far they felt their only out was escaping mortality.
In the last month I’ve spent a significant amount of time reading about mental illness. Hearing the accounts of those who have battled it. I still don’t understand it but think I’m getting closer.
I think that’s a start. I found from some readings on my church’s web site that the biggest thing loved ones of those battling depression and mental illness can do is love, support and don’t judge. I cringe as I recall times I’ve thought “Why can’t they just snap out of it?” Because there is no magic switch. Not yet at least.
The best line I’ve found is in an article I read on lds.org. It sums up the ‘snap out of it’ approach. We wouldn’t say that to a cancer patient. Likewise we shouldn’t apply it to those suffering mental illnesses. Like with cancer, there are treatments and approaches to overcoming depression and mental illness but there’s no cure. Yet.
From what I’ve read, depression brings a feeling of hopelessness. There is a never-ending search for self-blame. Those who suffer may seem to have a world of opportunity before them but they’re stuck trying to look behind and find a reason for the hurt that surrounds them.
That darkness. I can’t imagine it. Seeking for a truth that doesn’t exist must be exhausting. Damaging sometimes beyond repair. Is it because we’re of a society of justice—an eye for and eye? A felon deserves jail time because they broke the law. A person suffering through mental illness tries to justify their agony for some past wrong. But there isn’t one. Nobody deserves that cloud of despair as a constant companion.
Shamefully I’ve tried to find reasons too. They’re feeling that way because they did this or that. This train of thought needs to end. The more we, as a whole, seek to understand and empathize the better off everyone will be. Why waste energy seeking someone or something to place the blame? Spend energy learning to be patient, loving and supportive.
It’s easy to say but I know I fall into the trappings of just wanting happiness to be the presiding authority in the lives of all those I love. It can be, I believe. With time, I believe those far more gifted than I will find the right medications to help repair chemical imbalances and other factors that help result in mental illness. Support systems will be more supportive and less cynical. Maybe one day we’ll get to the point where we can look back at mental illness because we once took the time to look it in the face.
Until that day, I hope to employ a thought that is as powerful to me today as it was when I first heard it as a teenager: look for the good in others rather than seeking out the bad. We don’t know the inner workings of our neighbors. Don’t be quick to judge but be fast to love.
The same man who taught me that also said: “Do not be discouraged because you cannot learn all at once; learn one thing at a time, learn it well, and treasure it up, then learn another truth and treasure that up.”
I don’t understand depression or most mental illnesses. I want to though. I want the pain and suffering of so many to end. So I’ll learn one thing at a time and hope others will join the crusade so that one day we can look back at those monsters, and ahead to full lives of realized opportunities.
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