I can only imagine...

Do you ever stop to wonder, is this my life? As a teen I wrote a song that starts with that line. As I’ve grown older, I’ve thought more and more about it. Sometimes I do—stop to wonder. Somehow I think I’m not the only one.

Recently a friend of mine has gone through a divorce. I remember one day that friend told me they never imagined their life turning out like this. I’d like to think nobody approaches any marriage thinking it will end in divorce. I think there are probably many things we don’t ever imagine experiencing.

I’ve been mulling over this idea for months now. I never imagined my life being like this. In a million years I couldn’t have imagined myself being so blessed. I have an amazing husband who loves me so completely and is a better man than I ever thought I could find or deserve. I have a full-time job in an industry that has captivated me for most of my life and it has allowed Sterling and I to live comfortably despite him not being able to work while we wait for his paperwork to be finalized. I have some tremendous friends I know I could count on for anything whether it’s help battling a crisis or tackling an adventure. I speak to and/or see my parents regularly and as the years have passed, I’ve finally recognized how much of a blessing that is. My body isn’t perfect but it allows me to go for runs with my husband and play sports regularly. I know that’s a huge blessing just to have an able body. I battled with my body much of my life but think I’m finally coming to terms with the extra weight it likes to carry. It lets me run, skate, eat, breathe and wrap my arms around my loved ones. For that, I am grateful.

I really do feel so blessed. I’m afraid of coming across as a braggart but would be remiss to not openly express my gratitude for the blessings I know my loving Heavenly Father has given me. I don’t for a second take any of it for granted. I know life can get hard. Really hard. I’ve been blessed to see that up close and personally and am even more blessed to have made it through and learned from those hard experiences.

I’ve also been in close proximity of dear friends and loved ones going through really hard experiences. Sometimes I think it’s harder to watch a loved one get blindsided by a hard time than to go through it firsthand.

And that’s life. Whether it’s vicarious or firsthand, we’re here to gain experience and in turn, experience joy. Sometimes the road to the latter can just feel too long and full of obstacles though.

This is my life. I have an idea of where I want it to go but know that there are other factors that can steer it in different directions. I’ll keep making goals and choices to try to lead to the life I’d like to have but know full and well that when we least expect it, life can turn out so different than we ever imagined. And sometimes that’s the greatest blessing of all.