1)
Love your life before you find the love of your
life. It wasn’t until I felt satisfied that my life was complete that I found
someone else to really complete it with.
2)
Friends come in all shapes, sizes, types, ages…I
used to think I could tell right off the bat that someone was the type of
person I’d be friends with. It was judgmental, sometimes right but not without
a lot of room for error. Common interests are a big part of friendship but
sometimes differences with just enough similarities result in the best
friendships. And age really is just a number—especially the older you get. I
still forget sometimes that my closest friends were born before my parents even
met, or are the same age or even younger than my ‘little’ sisters.
3)
Your body is more and less imperfect than you
think. No, you’re not a fat blob. Yes, you should take better care of your body
because one day all of that crashing and banging on the field, court, ice, etc.
may lead to a jacked shoulder, stitches on your face and hip surgery. Thanks,
life, for that lesson.
4)
Moments matter. Sometimes it just takes one
moment for huge change to come crashing in. Value the moments with people you
care about. Don’t waste moments on things, places, people you don’t care about.
Sounds harsh but it’s something I learned and am still working on living.
5)
Gossip is useless, stupid and at times (most
times), hurtful. I still do it. I die inside a little bit every time. Maybe
I’ll improve on this by my 40th. I sure hope so. One day, I hope to be liberal with kind words and stingy with the filth. I could and should
take a page out of my husband’s book on this one. He’s the best non-gossiper I
know.
6)
Losing someone stings. Whether by death, dispute
or distance, when someone leaves your life, it leaves a hole. Other people and
time help fill the hole but it still sucks. Cherish people while they’re in
your bubble. If you can, find ways to still connect with them when they’re gone.
7)
Music cures all. Breakups, new love, running,
working, fuming, chilling—there’s a soundtrack for that. I constantly have a
song in my head and have found I can turn to music to get through anything.
Thank you music makers. You rock my world.
8)
You can do anything for 30 seconds. Even if it
takes lots of 30 seconds. I think I started doing this when my roommate Jenette
and I would go on these crazy 20-mile runs in the dead heat of an Idaho summer.
When I felt like I was maxed out, I’d just start counting to 30—over and
over—while singing the soundtrack of Now and Then in my head. I just used this
technique at the dentist the other day. Works like a charm.
9)
Family is awesome. I realized this in my teens
after getting dropped off at university. They’re crazy sometimes, sure, and as
imperfect as I am but they’re mine. I’m theirs. Parents, siblings,
step-families, COUSINS!, grandparents, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and now
in-laws. Love them all. Couldn’t imagine a life without them and thankfully,
don’t have to.
10)
If
you cheat at Clue, you will get caught and it will lead to the biggest fight
you’ve ever had with your cousin. Same thing goes in life. I really believe
that honesty is the best policy. Cheaters never prosper—not in the end at
least. Sometimes it’s hard to be honest and tempting to test the truth. Your
conscience, relationships and well being will all be better off if honesty is the *only
way to go. *There is a Santa clause
11) Sports are awesome. A very wise woman once told me I
shouldn’t waste my time with sports and would be better off without them. Well,
sorry Grammie but I disagreed then and still do. Sports have given me memories,
challenges, best friends, injuries, triumphs, defeats and ultimately, even my
husband. I know there’s more to life than ‘playing a silly game’ but where else
can you stretch yourself, help others, develop talents, entertain, be
entertained AND work up a sweat? Thankfully, Grammie’s come around over the
years.
12) Be
you. The version of your best self may get updates along the way and may
regress at times. Sometimes, some years, you may be a better version of you
than other years but be you. Try to improve on yourself but don’t try to cover
up the warts and human frailties. Learn from them, love yourself in spite of
them and stay true to who you are. I am awkwardly and bluntly honest, I am
extremely competitive but more than winning, value fairness. I have faith and
therefore, am faithful. I’m extremely loyal and care deeply about being the
best at everything, especially the best wife, friend, daughter, teammate,
sister, professional, etc. I also have a temper, struggle to commit to things
for the fear that something more desirable will come up and I don’t like wasting time
(even though I have developed a TV habit).
13) Don’t make comparisons. I’ve wasted too much energy over the
years thinking, man, I wish I looked like/acted like/sounded like someone else.
Life would be so much better/easier/more fulfilling if only I was more like
that person. Believe it or not, once upon a time, someone may have thought the
same things about you. See #12. Be you. Realize that everyone has something
they wished they could gain or get rid of. And if they don’t, well good on ‘em.
Lastly, that picture you’re comparing yourself to is probably photoshopped.
Whether literally altered electronically or skewed by your own perception.
Everyone has flaws and struggles. Some are just more apparent than others.
14) Every
day is a new day but life is (hopefully) the collection of many of those days.
Some days we’re rock stars, some days we’re couch potatoes and some days just
suck. Try to be better today than you were yesterday but don’t beat yourself up
if you’re not. We only get to where we’re going, one day at a time.
15) Sunday naps are the best. So are lake days, big,
juicy raspberries and tall, cold glasses of lemonade. I’m so grateful for all
of them and much more. The simple things can just be so extraordinary.
16) How to love. And how to have my heart broken.
Maybe you can go through life and have one but not the other. From my
experience though, you dive in and love and sometimes you get hurt. But man,
it’s worth it. When it’s good, it’s good. When it crumbles, it hurts. But it
helps you learn a lot about yourself, your coping skills and how much people
around you love you and will rally to help you rise above the ashes.
17) Consider the lilies. Sometimes I over think
things. I can especially fret about a lot of things, including money. This is
another work in progress but I’m learning to just trust that things will work
out. Consider the lilies, how they grow. I’m sure they’re working their little
hearts out to get bigger but they can’t control when and where the sun and rain
comes from. But it comes.
18) We get by with a little help from our friends. I
said family is awesome and I have to include friends in the same breath. I love
my friends. I count many of them as my family and feel so blessed to have them
in my life. I just need to find more and better ways to show that.
19) The grass can be green on both sides but if
we’re just looking at the other side, that’s all we’ll see. Sometimes we just
need to look around and see how awesome we’ve got it. It’s good to look ahead and
set goals but when we look too far ahead, we might miss just how awesome things
are on our side of the fence.
20)
It’s never too late to try something new. As a
kid, I wanted to play ice hockey so badly. I thought I’d missed my window of
opportunity and then I met some Curvy Canucks in my late 20s. I didn’t know how
to skate and more importantly, how to stop on skates but now I do. I love
playing hockey and am so glad I just tried it.
21) Road rage is bad but I get my rage on all the time. I
carpool with this amazing woman I work with. She is a very safe driver and it
genuinely hurts her feelings when people honk at her or tailgate. I am working
on it and really don’t want to hurt any sweet man or woman’s feelings because
I’m a jerk.
22) Manners matter. Please and thank you. Simple
words that can open so many doors. The more you use them, the better you’ll
feel so use please and thank yous at every meal. Really, every chance you get.
23) Saying thank you goes a long way. See the above.
It feels good to say thanks and feels great to receive gratitude. Again, just
two words can make a world of difference, especially in your marriage. There
are two other words that also go a long way. Not as easy to say but starts with
I and ends with ‘m sorry.
24) Sometimes (most times) the countryside trumps a
crowd. I’ve gone to a lot of concerts. I’ve gone to Vegas multiple times. I
think I’ve been to almost 300 professional hockey games in my life. There is a
palpable buzz in all of those places but far and away, I’d rather be sitting
next to a lake. Give me a guitar, a campfire, a paddle over bright lights and
raucous energy any day. Nature is my sanctuary and I’ve been fortunate to live
in some beautiful places.
25) When you think you’re absolutely at your wit’s
end, take one more step. Prayer has helped me a lot here. When I’ve felt like
I’m at rock bottom and can’t find my way out, just keep on truckin’.
26) If
you can dream it, you can do it. If you’re willing to work for it, that is. I
really believe that nothing is impossible. Not always easy but definitely
possible.
27) Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to be kind. There are
times when I just want to fix stuff. I try to troubleshoot and offer advice but
really all that person or situation needs is a little kindness. I love the
saying “Don’t let a problem to be fixed become more important than a person to
be loved.”
28) Life
is full of surprises so don’t get caught off guard when it throws a curve ball.
Lean on your loved ones, trust in yourself and count to 30. As many times as
it takes. And above all else, don’t forget to pray. I’m hopping up on my soapbox
for these last few. There is tremendous power in prayer. I’ve lived it. I’ve
seen it. I’ve been so blessed by it. I would not be where I am without sincere
prayer in my life.
29) Marry
your best friend and life will be amazing. I wish it was that simple but it
sure helps. I’ve seen a lot of marriages fall apart, including my own parents’.
Maybe because of that, I have spent a lot of time dissecting what makes a
relationship work and what makes one fall apart. In my whopping 4.5 years of
marriage and 30 years of life, I’ve learned that it’s important to share—interests,
time, love, service, hopes, fears, dreams—everything with your partner. It’s
also important to say sorry quickly, mean it and accept your partner’s apology,
quickly. Once it’s a bygone, by golly, let it be gone.
30) You are loved. By friends, family, your husband,
people you serve with, and most certainly, your Heavenly parents. I can look
back at my life and see many times where I’ve felt so loved. I can also think
of many times I’ve thought I was alone, only to see amazing miracles happen
that show me I’m anything but alone.
